1. Darlene, sorry to read about your bad times. I am a 25 year survivor of Breast Cancer and a 3 year since my Triple By-Pass. I have lost friends too, don't know what the real reason is, but some just stopped calling or found themselves too busy for activities. But everyday, I carry on with my life, my disabled husband, 4 daughters, grandkids, not thinking that this was going to be our retirement, no trips, or car rides, just staying home with him. WE love each other, married 41 years.

For you, I would suggest to confront your employer, your old friend about your situation. If nothing is satisify, why don't you find a new job, don't bother with that friend who ratted on you. Start over !!
Get on with your life. Take charge and go for it!!!

Posted at 3:01PM on Feb 8th 2006 by Donna Delaney

2. Darlene, sorry to read about your bad times. I am a 25 year survivor of Breast Cancer and a 3 year since my Triple By-Pass. I have lost friends too, don't know what the real reason is, but some just stopped calling or found themselves too busy for activities. But everyday, I carry on with my life, my disabled husband, 4 daughters, grandkids, not thinking that this was going to be our retirement, no trips, or car rides, just staying home with him. WE love each other, married 41 years.

For you, I would suggest to confront your employer, your old friend about your situation. If nothing is satisify, why don't you find a new job, don't bother with that friend who ratted on you. Start over !!
Get on with your life. Take charge and go for it!!!

Posted at 3:02PM on Feb 8th 2006 by Donna Delaney

3. Hello All,

Isn't it a shame that with all the medical and ethical advances of the last few decades, cancer survivors can still find themselves under an almost primitive-taboo kind of stigma? I had a very survivable form of cancer, thyroid, (though going through it without insurance pretty much ruined my life) but in both my workplace and social circles I found that a good proportion of people started to treat me as if I was impermanent. H

Posted at 3:26PM on Feb 12th 2006 by Richard Day Gore

4. Hello All,

This brings to mind Neil Simon’s Brighton Beach Memoirs, in which the word “cancer” is always whispered, never spoken aloud. The play was set in the ‘40’s but it seems there are still plenty of people who still treat it as if it’s shrouded in some mystical taboo. I had a relatively survivable kind, thyroid cancer, but found that some folks in my social circle and at the workplace came to distance themselves from me, as if the disease had branded me impermanent. It’s hard enough going through it without having to feel like you’re wearing a mantle of shame. It is true that we could be passed over for promotions/opportunities because our bosses/employers carry have this misinformed prejudice. I’m not hurling blame on anyone; it seems that no one can truly understand unless they’ve walked the walk.

Of course, a benefit of having your social and professional circles disrupted by misfortune is that it can clarify who your friends are… and aren’t.

I wish sites like this had been available back when my medical disasters were hitting the fan. It would have made it less lonely feeling.

Best regards,
Richard Day Gore
http://www.roguecell.blogspot.com/
http://www.diaryofaroguecell.com/

Posted at 3:49PM on Feb 12th 2006 by Richard Day Gore

5. Hi,
I didn't mean to leave multiple posts! Pardon if I seem obsessive, for some reason the posts were kidnapped as I was writing.
Regards,
Richard

Posted at 7:23PM on Feb 12th 2006 by Richard Day Gore

6. I have had breast cancer for 14 years and am now in my 80th year.....too long. During that time I have had a triple by pass, which I was told would increase the cancer, but I had no alternative, but to go throught with it inspite of the fact that by then the cancer had spread to my back. Now after a year's chemo of Docataxel, although my hair and nails vanished or split away, I am feeling less and less willing to continue with further treatment when the side effects all seem dire. It is coming down to the fact that when illnesses go on for more than a year friends who have been attentive and helpful tend to drift away. Cancer and old age with the disabilitis it brings, are particularly bad together. People have little time for the elderly and still less for elderly WITH illness. They can be mentally alert, but that doesn't help when they are dependent upon others for cleaning, shopping helping in general. Everything has to be paid for even the company of SOMEONE - anyone, just to talk to. Mac's too busy, District nurses, GP's ALL TOO busy. In the meanwhile ....'God! is SHE/HE still alive?' Yes, I feel depressed and feel there is little support around.

Posted at 12:15PM on Mar 18th 2006 by loismary