Hearing the words "You have cancer" is a traumatic experience for most adults. Having to tell your loved ones and friends that you have cancer is just as hard. Being a parent and having to tell your young child that you have cancer is one of the toughest conversations many adults face. The American Cancer Society reports that one in seven women in the U.S. will develop breast cancer during their lifetime, and roughly a quarter of them will do so while they still have children living at home. That is just one statistic of one form of cancer and there are more to consider. 

So what do you tell your young child and how much detail should you get into? Most children have seen commercials, heard conversations, experienced some form of educational material on the subject already. Should you tell the truth, hide some facts, or try to avoid letting them know all together?

Wendy Schlessel Harpham, MD wrote a book called When a Parent Has Cancer: A Guide to Caring for Your Children. In this book she states that one of the biggest mistake parents make is trying to hide the truth from their children. "Even small children will figure out that something is wrong, even if you don't tell them," she says. "Kids are observant and smart, and if you give them too little information they will try to figure it out on their own. If you don't tell them, you lose control and you are less able to guide the child through the changes in their world in healthy and hopeful ways."

Telling the truth, giving them understanding and the support they need, and educating them about your cancer may be the toughest conversations you will ever have in your life, but it will help you and your child in gaining the confidence to cope with the challenges that you both will face.