I have had many moments in my life where anxiety and panic have filled my mind. But this is normal and necessary really as life delivers all kinds of situations that produce all sorts of emotions.

I can recall vividly anxious feelings before a school exam but this is what motivated me to study and prepare and to pass the exam with flying colors. This anxiety gave me a push, a kick in the pants -- in a good, healthy way.

Without a bit of panic, I may not have cared. I may have been aloof to the importance of doing well in school. But while life has presented me with a good amount of this healthy emotion, it has also tossed an abundance of unhealthy anxiety and panic my way -- the kind that has consumed my mind and twisted my insides. The kind that made peaceful living seem impossible.

Living with cancer -- and the treatment that came with it -- caused me daily worry and anxiety and panic. A headache might send my mind into a tailspin of irrational thinking -- why I am having this headache? why has it lasted so long? why does it seem worse than any other headache I've ever had? maybe it's not normal. maybe it's cancer. maybe my cancer is spreading. how could I possibly handle another diagnosis? And on and on and on until I could barely function, barely breathe.

Counseling is what saved me. It provided me with a structured way to discuss my worries and fears and I walked away with exercises to help me at home. I tried some deep breathing and guided imagery and relaxation techniques -- but what helped me most was charting my automatic thoughts.

Automatic thoughts are the thoughts that pop into our heads automatically throughout the day. We are not even aware of these thoughts -- they just occur and sometimes get out of control. Becoming aware of automatic thoughts is the key. So when I feel anxiety creeping up on me, I stop and think about the situation that surrounds me.

Two days ago, for example, my three-year-old son trampled all over the glass of a large framed vintage poster that I had put in the back of my van to take home from a friend's house. The situation -- Danny walked on the picture and broke the glass. Simple. Then I chart my moods that result -- disappointment, anger, worry, nervousness, anxiety. My stomach felt sick. My head hurt. My chest felt crushed. And then I really think about my automatic thoughts. The thoughts that are instant and are rushing through my head. How could Danny do that? This beautiful picture is ruined. It was a free gift and now I'll have to replace the glass. My friend thought she was sending the picture off to a good home and instead she watched my child destroy it.

Awareness is key -- knowing exactly what is plaguing the mind. Once I was aware of my thoughts, I could begin to counter each one in a rational manner -- Danny is only three and did not know the consequences of walking on this colorful masterpiece. The picture is not ruined. It is just without glass. I can buy new glass or I can leave it as is. My friend still sent the picture to a good home. It was not destroyed. It just left her house in different form. This was an accident. It is not the end of the world. And all is fine. The picture is hanging beautifully right inside my front door -- without glass -- and I love it.

While I once sat down with pen and paper to chart this process, I can now follow the steps in my head. The relief is not instant -- it takes some time to work through all my thoughts and to process them but eventually, I feel calm. My goal when I first started counseling was to live peacefully, without constant worry. This is still my goal. And I am reaching for it everyday.