Coping with the fear of cancer recurrence is something in my every day mindset as well as many cancer survivors. When my cancer did come back, it doubled my fears often sending me into panic attacks. Often examining every inch of my body for signs of cancer several times a day, I found myself crying in my bathroom and then eventually going into a denial mindset that if I didn't know about it, it would just go away. Fear of any kind if let in consistently can eat away at your ability to function even simple every day tasks. Fear leads to a lot of depression and stress and that in turn leads your body into a state of vulnerability of disease including recurrence of cancer.

Both times my cancer came back was following two very stressful times in my life, so I do not have any doubt about the effects stress plays on a body. So how can you not stress? How can you get that fear out of the back of your mind? I am asked at least 2 or 3 times a week, how do I keep a positive mindset and focus on so much work. It is not simple and it is not an easy thing to do. My advice is always, find meaning and learn focus.

Think about what means the most to you and what you always enjoyed when you were young and as an adult. Find focus on bringing that back into your life. Think about what is most important to you and then stay focused on keeping that in your life and growing from there. Learn how to open yourself up about your feelings and fears and don't be afraid to show your emotions. You can write your fears and feeling down in a diary, talk about them with your friends and family or a support group. I made a list of things that I wanted to do and then checked them off as I did them. I also made of list of things that I was afraid of and then worked on overcoming those fears one by one. It kept me focused. Focus on making healthier choices in your lifestyle with food, diet, environment, and social activities and the people that you surround yourself with. Stay informed about medical research and health care services. If you are able, get involved in a local or regional charity organization or find a hobby or return to an old hobby that really gives you joy.

In 2003 my focal point became music. Something that I loved as a child, teenager, and young adult. I returned to writing and playing guitar for enjoyment and it helped me over come pain, nausea, and stress. Playing music then lead into part time work which soon became my full time job. I joined several music organizations which in turn lead to touring all over the U.S. and meeting many other singer songwriters. In early 2005, I founded a non profit organization based on music and working with other independent singer songwriters called Indie Music For Life, and then by the end of the year became the new CEO for Indiegrrl one of the music organizations I was involved with. I was approached by Steps For Living another non profit working with artists who are cancer survivors and became one of the artists in their Art of Survivorship project. Through Matthew Zachery, that organizations founder, last month I met Dalene Entenmann here at The Cancer Blog and that lead to this part time job.

One focus opened up a whole new world for me and helped take away some of those fears and a lot of that stress.

The American Cancer Society has resources to help you with fear, depression, and panic attacks.