Nearly seven in ten marriages touched by breast cancer do not survive. Trauma of any kind can split a weak marriage and divorce rates are at an all time high with 6 out of 10 marriages ending. So how do you support your spouse, wife, or life partner when they are going through breast cancer so your relationship does not end?
We are all given trials and life threatening trauma has got to be one of the worst. It can tear you apart or it can build character. For a long period of time one partner may have to shoulder most of the responsibility while the other is sick, weak, and going through surgery and treatment. This can lead to stress and arguments between the two of you or worse it could cause you to harbor feelings inside and start looking for a way out.
Some of the simple things you can do as the supporting spouse is tell her you love her. Don't be silent in your thoughts and discuss your concerns, feelings, and needs. Seek the help of friends and family with every day chores to help with things in and around the home. Don't feel like you have to be super man or wonder woman. Let her know you love her and not her breasts and be sensitive to her feelings and emotions. Find time to do things together that you both enjoy. And one very important thing to remember is let her lead back into the sexual relationship between the two of you giving her time to feel desirable and wanted.
1. This does not always work as some guys are SO focused on a woman's breasts they can't love her without them. My partner cannot "make love" to a half of a woman and that is what he thinks of me at this point. Monday I go in for surgery to remove the expander from an unsuccessful reconstruction procedure. Funny thing...I was doing the recon for myself...to gain balance and better posture. But now, who knows what will happen with this relationship? All this after surviving BC for almost two years. I guess in his eyes, I'd be better off dead but I'd be better off without him.
Posted at 7:45AM on Jun 17th 2006 by MaryD