My friend called me last night as she was having a miscarriage. She had been to the doctor, heard no heartbeat, and learned via ultrasound that her baby had stopped thriving weeks ago. Her doctors told her what to expect -- bleeding and cramping and contractions and possibly a D & C -- and she was experiencing some of these inevitable symptoms as we spoke on the phone. My friend called me because the same thing happened to me six years ago -- and when she remembered this, she dialed the phone from a state thousands of miles away. And despite our distance, our connection was close enough for comfort.

There are some differences in our circumstances. I had no children at the time of my miscarriage and my friend has two. I was younger than her at the time of my tragedy and knew I would go on to have children while she questions her age and worries about the viability of any pregnancy after this one. But there are many similarities -- and this is what makes for powerful connections and powerful healing. We both lost our babies at the same stage of pregnancy -- at about 10 weeks -- and our fetuses had not grown beyond the same point -- about five or six weeks. Our symptoms were largely the same, our sadness is alike, our grief is sadly overwhelming and deafening. But this crushing blow that we both have experienced brings us together -- and I hope that my friend is soothed by the fact that she is not alone.

This one fact -- that I am not alone -- is what has powered me along on my breast cancer journey without too many diversions and breakdowns. I am not alone on my cancer travels and this makes me feel safe, comforted, at ease. I am also not alone as a mom, a preschool teacher, a writer -- and a survivor of miscarriage. I lean on others in all areas of my life. I absorb their advice and knowledge and direction so that I can heal as a mom of two challenging boys, a one-time overwhelmed teacher, a writer trying to express clear and concise messages. And a survivor of miscarriage.

My own advice and knowledge and direction for my friend is this -- keep talking and sharing and reaching and connecting. What one cannot do alone, two -- or three or four or more -- can surely accomplish. I know this is true.