I confess. I was once a sun worshiper. I grew up in Ohio where a really sunny day was rare -- so on the occasion when the sun was bright and hot, I was in my back yard or at a swimming pool or at a lake soaking up the warmth and comfort of the rays that mostly burned my skin but gave me a glow that eventually turned the slightest shade of tan and made me feel healthy. It's ironic really -- that I felt healthy when the act of sunbathing is so completely damaging. And I knew this at the time and for the many years that followed -- and I still basked in the sun and vacationed in Florida and sometimes actually drove in the direction of the sun on a overcast day, in search of a tan that was never fully achieved because my skin is pale and fair and was never meant for any amount of sun exposure.My grandma worried about me for a long time. She cautioned me and warned me because she had been cut and frozen and bandaged on many occasions for skin cancer -- after years of working on a farm and then in a garden -- and she feared that I would follow a similar path. She spoke from experience. And I didn't listen. I kept after the sun and visited tanning beds too and only stopped my endless search for the sun after having a baby and then another baby -- and only then because I didn't have time to spend in the sun anymore. Having children saved me -- or maybe not.
The damage to my skin probably occurred long ago, well before children arrived. And I may be just waiting for the inevitable -- skin cancer -- to smack me in the face for my crazy behavior. I can't go back and change what I did in my younger years. But I can make wise choices now.
The worst burn I've suffered in the recent past has come from the rays of radiation for breast cancer. And I have no desire or plan for further damaging my skin. I am now the mom at the neighborhood swimming pool who sits on the lounge chair in the shade. I go to a dermatologist every year for a skin cancer screening, and I schedule an appointment for any bump, lump, or spot that worries me. I am happy with my skin tone and color and don't dream about a tan or wish for a healthy glow. Instead I panic about my two blond little boys with pale skin, and I slather them from head to toe with sunscreen whenever we head outdoors in our sunny state of Florida -- because I see for them a future like my grandma saw for me. And if I can educate them now about how harmful the sun's rays can be, perhaps I can save them from ever looking back with regret -- from ever wondering why so much time was spent in reckless pursuit of something so temporary, so unimportant, so unhealthy.
1. wow, thanks for this post, jacki! when i was in my "care-way-too-much-about-how-i-look" years (though isn't that a woman's entire lifetime?!?!) - i was a huge sun worshipper. i would do exactly as you did, laying out every chance i got, and *gasp!* for about a year and a half, i was so self-conscious about being tanned, that i visited the tanning salong twice a week, religiously.
and that was with my father even being a cancer physician! he would always warn me about the daners of cancer, telling us to use sunscreen, wear hats/visors, stay in the shade. he would continually tell me that tanning doesn't MAYBE lead to skin cancer, but IT WILL lead to it. i ignored him, because there was no immediate, real harmful, dangerous effect from the sun. sunburn? yes, it hurts. cancer? yeah, right.
i am lucky now, as i have not yet developed it, but i fear the day that my dermatologist will have to tell me that i have some suspicious spots on my back or shoulders.
and now, i am palepalepale as can be, and though i don't have a radiant glow like many others around me, i use sunscreen every day on facial products, and everywhere else when i know i'll be out under the sun shopping, etc. it has been a hard change in my mentality - that fair, un-tanned skin is as beautiful, and certainly "healthier," than being a golden goddess (i live in LA, so it's even tougher to ignore tanning).
and i know it's hard to convince others, especially children, that sunscreen is important. i feel like a nagging mother when i ask my friends to make sure to use sunscreen when they're out on the beach, but i can't help it. i have found though, that oftentimes, the reason they don't use it is inconvenience and discomfort - they forget to carry it around, and it feels "gross" - SO i bought them ALL spray on spf 30 sport (which is easy since it's a spray, AND does not feel greasy) to put in their glove boxes. LOL! now they have no excuses. i hope.
Posted at 1:38PM on Jun 27th 2006 by sarah