When Someone You Love Is Being Treated for Cancer is a book of tips and insight from caregivers for caregivers when it comes to the needs and issues of being a caregiver for a loved one diagnosed with cancer. Published online by The National Cancer Institute, the introduction states, "The purpose of this book is to focus on you and your needs."
In reviewing it, I found it to be a valuable and realistic resource for family members who find themselves in the role of caregiver because a loved one has been diagnosed with cancer.
In Adjusting to Being a Caregiver, David is quoted as saying, "It's emotionally exhausting, and I never know what to expect. One minute, things are looking up. Then a couple of hours later, something happens and I don't have the answers."
The chapters in this section deal with coping during the emotional strains of guilt, hope and hopelessness, sadness, worry, anxiety, depression, grief, hurt feelings, anger, and the loneliness of being a caregiver. In Caring for Your Mind, Body, and Spirit, caregivers can find inspiration, compassionate suggestions and possible solutions; clarification of myths about taking care of yourself and ways to nurture yourself in caring for the mind and spirit; making time for yourself, finding meaning, caring for your body and finding help if you need it for depression or anxiety.
Caregivers need to know that to do a good job taking care of someone else, they must first take good care of themselves. It is not an act of selfishness but a practical matter. The Caregiver's Bill of Rights states:
- I have the right to take care of myself. This is not an act of selfishness. It will give me the ability to take better care of my loved one.
- I have the right to seek help from others even though my loved one may object. I know the limits of my own endurance and strength.
- I have the right to maintain parts of my own life that do not include the person I care for, just as I would if he were healthy. I know that I do everything that I reasonably can do for this person. I have the right to do some things just for myself.
- I have the right to get angry, be depressed, and express difficult feelings once in a while.
- I have the right to reject any attempt by my loved one to make me do things out of guilt or anger. (It doesn't matter if he/she knows that he/she is doing it or not.)
- I have the right to get consideration, affection, forgiveness, and acceptance for what I do for my loved one, as I offer these in return.
- I have the right to take pride in what I'm doing. And I have the right to applaud the courage it has taken to meet the needs of my loved one.
- I have the right to protect my individuality. I also have the right to a life that will sustain me in times when my loved one no longer needs my full-time help.
