When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer almost two years ago, my greatest fear was losing my hair. The fear was consuming, painful, over-the-top. That was long ago -- and I survived. I can look back now and realize that the panic about losing my hair was such a small-scale fear -- compared to what I fear now. Now I fear a recurrence of cancer. And it's a whole lot more disabling than a little worry about being bald.

I have a few techniques for settling my fears when they get out of control. Sometimes I take deep breaths. Sometimes I distract myself and occupy my mind with something more pleasant than anxiety -- like writing, exercising, playing with my little boys. And sometimes I read about others who have come before me and have handled the same distress I sometimes feel about cancer taking up residence in my body again. Mostly I learn from stories of other women who have survived breast cancer. And I learn that I can handle the fear, that I can handle cancer if it does come back. And the women I find most inspiring are those who have had a recurrence -- or two or three -- and who still manage to happily tackle the life they have in front of them. They give me hope that if a recurrence comes my way, I too can conquer it. And here are seven snippets of hope from the book Hope Lives! The After Breast Cancer Treatment Survival Handbook -- from women who keep on surviving breast cancer.


Ann, age 72, diagnosed 1972, 1991 & 1997
"I have had breast cancer three times since 1972. I am a survivor thank God! I do not wish to dwell in the past. I am enjoying life and living fully now."

Robin, age 38, diagnosed 1996, 1998 & 1999
"Why do I keep going through treatment when there is no permanent cure? I ask myself this every time. There are no options other than death, which to me is not an option. It's not that I fear death. I really don't anymore. I just love life too much to quit. It's a race against time. Treatment buys me time until they come up with new drugs or new ways to treat my illness. I'm not quitting."

Debra, age 43, diagnosed 1991, 1994, 1998 & 1999
"The first three times, I chose chemo and traditional treatments, but it gets harder on my body and my head to keep going back into it. This time, I'm going to try some alternative approaches to cancer. My friends think it's because I'm giving up and want to die now. I wish they could understand that the treatment is unbearable for me, and with so few choices left, I'm choosing a different approach because I want to live now. Not just survive, but live."

Jan, age 52, diagnosed 1985, 1989 & 1991
"The first time I had breast cancer, I beat it by not allowing it to change my life. The second time, I beat it by not allowing it to change my life. The third time, it changed my life and I allowed it to. Maybe I'll beat it this time.

June, age 60, diagnosed 1978 & 1998
"The second time was much less frightening for me because I knew so much more about breast cancer. Knowledge is power, so get informed."

Margaret, age 51, diagnosed 1990 & 1997
"I've had both breast cancer and ovarian cancer. I have no breasts and no reproductive system, but I'm still very much alive and very much a woman. I am living proof that there is life after cancer treatment. Try to remember that you went through it so you could live. Don't waste time being afraid. LIVE your life!"

Ruth, age 49, diagnosed 1995 & 1999
"Treatment is not as bad this time. My doctor has my side-effect medication adjusted well, and mentally I am not as overwhelmed as when I was originally diagnosed. I wish I had been in remission longer, but I'm happy that there are still drugs out there to treat me. I still work, play tennis, and take care of my children. Breast cancer for me is a chronic illness, but one I seem to be able to live with. I am grateful for that, but I pray daily for a cure."

And this is just a bit of what makes me feel better when the fear of recurrence takes hold of my mind.