Sunday Seven: Seven steps for surviving after treatment
Posted Sep 10th 2006 9:00AM by Jacki Donaldson
Filed under: All Cancers, Sunday Seven, Cancer Survivors
I really do believe deep down in my gut that I will survive breast cancer -- that I will witness the wonder of my children growing up, that I will be married long enough that the years blur together, that I will live to a ripe old age. But I still have moments of doubt -- moments powerful enough to make me think I should not have a third child, just in case cancer comes back. To combat these moments -- that seem to surface more now that my treatment has stopped -- I try to keep busy, keep my mind occupied, keep living. My steps for surviving in the short-term include writing, journaling, exercising, relaxing, and spending time with family. But I also follow some steps for long-term survival -- steps that transcend the moment and give me purpose and direction. And here are seven of them.
- Building relationships with my health care providers helps me feel like I matter. I don't like feeling like a number, lost in the system, grasping for someone to notice me. Getting to know those who provide my medical care is comforting. And when I pick up the phone and call with my mostly irrational worries, I know the person on the other line knows who I am and how to help. The surgeon who performed my lumpectomy almost two years ago saw my sister the other day and immediately asked about me. He is one of those doctors who says, "call me if you ever need anything." And I know he means it. And I will call. I do call. It helps me survive.
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Advocating for my own health is critical to my survival -- because my biggest fear is recurrence and if I can't step up and take action, then no one will. So I don't worry about how silly my questions may be or how off-the-wall my anxieties are. I pursue whatever is troubling me. It helps to know that if something I wrong, I will discover it early.
- Identifying positive effects of cancer helps me find balance in my cancer journey. There are endless negative consequences that spring from this disease but with the right amount of reframing in my mind, I can identify endless positive consequences too -- like opportunities for writing that have come my way and the money I have been able to raise for the American Cancer Society and my curly brown hair that people tell me looks even better than the hair that chemo took from me. The list goes on.
- Connecting with others from all experiences and journeys keeps me in good company. And because of cancer, I think I can more deeply engage with others -- maybe because I can more accurately sense their ups and downs and can identify with their moments of crisis. Or perhaps it's that I am not afraid to discuss sensitive topics -- since I have my own sensitive topic. Cancer has made me open up more, share more, and connect more. And connections make me feel alive.
- Helping others helps me. It shifts my attention from my own condition and allows me to focus on a greater good. If I can share one ray of sunshine, one piece of advice, one bit of wisdom with someone who needs it, then I feel I have helped in some small way. And when I needed it most, help from others was my best form of medicine.
- Setting new life goals keeps my sight on the future. Prior to cancer, I was not sure what my future had in store for me. But after cancer -- which threatened to take my future -- I oddly have more clarity and perspective. I know I want to continue writing and writing and writing, for myself, for others, for pay. Nothing else competes with this desire that was far from my mind in my pre-cancer days.
- Making a difference gives me a reason to move forward. Whether through fundraising or volunteering or a blog post on this site that reaches just one person, making a difference keeps me motivated and inspired and distracted from the moments that seem dark and dismal. The moments filled with doubt and panic and hopelessness. The moments I aim to keep to a minimum as I strive to survive.
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