Earlier this month I blogged about a book called Dear Cancer. The author, Laura Parisi King is a breast cancer survivor. I met Laura through the Young Survival Coalition and she agreed to do an interview with me about her breast cancer journey.

When were you diagnosed with breast cancer?

I was diagnosed with cancer on October 9, 2002. I was 41 years old. I had found a large mass in my right breast and was told by a doctor in Florida that it was just fibrocystic tissue and that it was nothing to worry about. After seven months of 'not worrying', my GYN in New York felt the mass and sent me to a surgeon. The surgeon said that the mass had to come out. He removed it and told me that it was cancer. After many tests I learned that the cancer had already spread. I have it in both lungs, both hips, my ribcage, sternum, spine and neck.

What types of breast cancer treatments were recommended?

The doctor first recommended hormone therapy with Tamoxifen. I stayed on it for a number of months however, my cancer markers kept climbing so I was put on the chemotherapy Taxotere. I stayed on that for over a year and then after my cancer markers were back to normal I went back on the hormonal drugs, Femora and Faslodex. I'm now back on chemo because the hormones don't seem to be working anymore. I'm now on Navalbine. I also get Zometa to strengthen by bones and Lupron to keep me in menopause.

How did you research breast cancer and breast cancer treatments?

I used the internet...A LOT. I also talked with other women who had been through treatment for breast cancer. I read a lot too.

Are you involved in any breast cancer support groups , fundraisers or breast cancer organizations?

I have a group that I go to that is specifically for Stage IV patients. I'm also involved with a wellness center in my area. They offer yoga, Tai Chi, and other programs. I'll be doing a writing workshop for them in the near future. I'm involved with other groups via the internet, posting on their bulletin boards.

What advice would you give to someone newly diagnosed with breast cancer?

DON'T PANIC! The beginning is the hardest part. You've usually just been through surgery and are trying to recuperate from that so your not at your strongest. Also at the beginning you feel bombarded with confusing information and you feel that you want to start treatment yesterday to get this behind you.

BE HONEST! If your tired, tell people that your tired. If you need help, tell people that you need help. And mostly be honest with your emotions. Let yourself cry, scream, even laugh...and know that any emotion is OK and normal. Your not the first and you won't be the last to feel as you do.

What advice would you give the family members and friends of someone diagnosed with breast cancer?

Be sensitive to the fact that they are overwhelmed by the new physical and emotional burdens. Let them talk if they need to but don't push them to talk. Don't treat them like they are the walking dead. Its OK to laugh even though cancer is in their life. Be specific about how you can help them. Tell them that you'll pick their kids up to come to your house for the afternoon so they can rest..offer to do their laundry..drop off a video for them or a good book...cook them a meal that they can stick in the freezer for a day when they aren't feeling well. Remember that everyone is different and everyone will react to their diagnosis differently. If one friend has cancer and doesn't mind being teased about her bald head, that doesn't mean that another friend will react the same way. Call and check up on them, let them know they don't have to go through this alone.

As a breast cancer survivor, what thoughts do you have on surviving breast cancer and being a breast cancer survivor?

I wrote in my book that "I have a hard time seeing myself as a cancer survivor while I'm still entrenched in the heat of the battle". Being that I have Stage IV cancer, I will probably be on one treatment or another for the rest of my life. I do feel a sense of pride for how I have handled the disease so far. My husband also has cancer. He was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer. I think the two of us have done a great job of staying positive, keeping a sense of humor and doing our part to encourage and support others who are dealing with this.

Name three breast cancer books you would recommend:

Dear Cancer of course would be the first on my must read list. (I couldn't resist saying that because I wrote it). I really am proud of the book though because it touches every emotion. So many women and men feel that its wrong to feel jealous of other people's good health, or its wrong to have a feeling of dread when they have to give their family bad news. This book lets them know that its ok. Its not wrong. It's ok and normal to laugh, cry or scream. It validates everything that they are feeling.

Dr. Susan Love's breast book was very informative. I got a lot of my information from that book when I was first diagnosed.

The American Cancer Society used to put out a book called A Breast Cancer Journey or A Journey Through Breast Cancer. I forget the actual title but it was also very informative. If someone were to call the American Cancer Society I'm sure they would be able to tell them the exact title and how to get it.

Name other breast cancer related resources, on or offline, that you would recommend?

Living Beyond Breast Cancer (LBBC). I found them on the internet. Its a great site to go to for information and to get support from the on-line bulletin board. My local breast cancer coalition has been an invaluable support. They have helped me arrange cleaning services when I wasn't feeling well. They have helped me with financial issues. They have informed me about different resources that are that available in my community to anyone with breast cancer. The Young Survival Coalition (YSC) is for women under forty who have been diagnosed. Its a great site to go to for information and support.

What is your background?

I'm a New York State Licensed Master Social Worker. I'm a writer and have had numerous fiction and non-fiction articles published in various magazines. I wrote, and had published, a young adult novel called Granda. I'm also a sailor. My husband and I were full time live-aboard cruisers for five years and 21,000 miles.

Why did you write Dear Cancer and where can people get a copy?

I didn't intent to write a book when I was first diagnosed. I wrote a quick note that said, Dear Cancer, You cannot defeat me. I turned that note into a longer writing telling cancer WHY it couldn't defeat me. It felt good to take a position of strength against this illness so I wrote another poem and another and another. I started to share the writing with women in my support group and at the oncology office and they encouraged me to put them together into a book and make it available to people who are going through cancer or any life challenge. Since its been out, I have received many emails, letters and phone calls from people thanking me for putting into words what they have been feeling but were unable to express. I feel proud to have done something positive with such a frightening experience. The easiest way for people to get the book is directly for the publisher at www.authorhouse.com or call the book order hotline at 888-280-7715.