Gayle Shlafer is a 34-year-old wife and mother who lives in Gainesville, Florida. She is a technical writer and editor -- although her secret (or, not-so-secret anymore) ambition is to write novels. She is not ready to embark on her novel just yet, though, because breast cancer has put a lot of family plans on hold. But she considers this whole cancer thing a temporary set-back. And she is patiently waiting for a bit of normalcy to return to her world.

Gayle is my neighbor. She is an inspiration. She is a survivor. And the words that follow are her own.

When were you diagnosed with breast cancer?

Feb. 25, 2006

How old were you at the time of diagnosis?

33. At first it was diagnosed as Stage I, but when it was discovered in the lymph nodes it became Stage II. Blech.

Do you have a family history of breast cancer?

No! I did get gene tested and I am not a carrier. *whew*

How did you find out you had breast cancer?

I was looking at myself naked in the mirror and saw the bottom of my breast looked flat. I poked it, and felt the lump. I scrounged around for my GYN's list of "how to do a self examination" and followed the instructions. Called my GYN the next day (because I found it on a Sunday), went in Tuesday. The following Wednesday I had a mammogram and a sonogram, the day after that I had a surgery consult, the day after *that* I had surgery and the day after that I got my diagnosis (it was a Saturday).

How did you tell your family members about your diagnosis?

I told my hubby after I saw the GYN because he'd have to take time off for the surgery. It was Valentine's day. What a wonderful gift, right? He actually answered the phone when the surgeon called with the diagnosis, so *he* had to tell *me.* I waited for the diagnosis before I told anyone else. I had to call my mom since she lives far away from me, and I made sure her roommate was home and she was sitting down. I started the conversation with "It's not fatal." I don't think that helped much.

What types of breast cancer treatment did you receive?

First, a mastectomy and removal of lymph nodes. I finished my six rounds of chemo about a month ago, and will most likely start radiation in the next two weeks.

How did you manage through breast cancer treatment?

You know, it wasn't too bad. I had one chemo treatment every three weeks, so the first week following I was tired, sometimes nauseous, picky appetite -- like pregnancy during the first trimester. The next two weeks would be fine and then I'd do it again. My doctor did not do any other type of visit other than chemo -- so I didn't have to get blood drawn weekly and no check ups until my next appointment. I called if I wasn't feeling well (I had a cough that wouldn't go away for a while), but overall, the worst thing was the anticipation before chemo.

What has been your worst breast cancer moment?

After my mastectomy, I developed a possible infection, so the doctor had to treat my wound. Because of this, the wound drain (the tubes) didn't work, so I had to stuff my wound with cotton and put a panty liner over it to keep it from draining on me. Changing the cotton and trying to judge when I needed to change the panty liner was absolutely disgusting. I had to work from home it was so gross.

What has been your best breast cancer moment?

I'm not wearing a wig, and my openness about what's going on lets people ask me about it. They don't feel like they have to be cautious around me, and I'd much rather answer their questions and spread some education around. It's also a beacon to others going through treatment, so you can have solidarity with anyone you meet on the street.

How do handle anxiety and worry related to breast cancer?

I'm more worried about how much the needle pricks will hurt than I am about the cancer. As sad as it is, thousands of women before me have gone through it, and the treatment is what you do to stop it. I feel that my case will eventually help the thousands of women after me, so soon it will only be hundreds, then a handful, and then none. I'm part of the process to getting to that zero. I'm going through it so others won't have to.

How has breast cancer changed your life?

I like to participate in community theater, Scottish dancing, and choreographed swordfighting. I can't do any of those things this year because of surgeries, side effects, and treatment. Next year, though.

What lessons have you learned through breast cancer?

It's great how supportive your family, friends, and people at work become. After people heard of my diagnosis, I had meals for weeks in my freezer and tons of movies and books to keep my mind occupied. We got gift certificates and offers of babysitting. It's been really nice.

Are you involved in any breast cancer support groups? Fundraisers? Organizations?

No. I sometimes feel guilty that my treatments are going so well that I don't want those who are suffering to ask me how I'm doing. But these things are on my list of things to do next year.

What advice would you give someone newly diagnosed?

Too many people tried to give me advice when I was diagnosed. It really drove me crazy, actually. I would let her know I was there, and was available to her if she should need it. If it was someone I saw often, I'd check in every so often to see how she was doing. I'd keep my advice to myself unless she asked for it.

What advice would you give family members and friends of someone diagnosed with breast cancer?

Take it a day at a time, because it will get better.

Name any breast cancer related books or other resources you would recommend.

The Internet is a wonderful general resource, but there's nothing specifically that I used.