I loved Ann's story, you will too. Ann is a fellow young breast cancer survivor. She lost her mother at a young age to breast cancer. Ann has two sons and when she was diagnosed she knew that she had to handle the situation differently when it came to telling her children what was going on. When she was young and her mother was diagnosed the family tried to protect her by not giving her information about what was going on with her mom. She knows first hand how that approach, though well meaning, only made her more scared and confused. Ann has a lot of good advice to share and feels honored to share her story with us. You can also read more about Ann in her blog called The Life Journal of Geeky Gal.

How did you find out you had breast cancer?

In April 2003, maybe a week before my regular yearly exam with my GYN, I was lying in bed watching TV with my hubby when he turned over and accidentally sort of pinched my breast under his arm a little. Right then, I had the impression of having a lump in my breast. I was startled and sat upright, in a stunned silence, feeling the area over and over. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him that it felt strange, kind of like I had felt a lump in there, but I couldn't find it after the fact. I don't know if my tissue swelled up because of the pinch or what. Anyway, I kept trying to feel it again all night, but to no avail, so I filed it away, figuring the doctor would let me know in a week if there was any problem. By the time I went in for my exam the following week, I had all but forgotten the incident when my doctor came in chatting and started right in by examining my left breast. Almost immediately came the uh-oh moment--"Ann, did you know there was a lump here?" I swallowed sheepishly, "um, no". I was only 36 years old, but he was concerned because of my family history. (my mother had breast cancer and died at a relatively young age). He said the lump felt rubbery and movable, and that was a good sign. Most likely a cyst, but we had to be sure. A few whirlwind hours later I had completed a diagnostic mammogram, and sat at home mulling all this over when my doctor called and said "I'm so sorry, I was wrong. Your mammogram indicates a very high probability of malignancy. You need a biopsy". So that day, May 1, 2003 is the day I mark as the anniversary of my cancer survivorship..my cancerversary. That's when I went into fighting mode.

What types of breast cancer treatments were recommended?

Because of the relative size and location of the lump, I was not a candidate for lumpectomy, so we were planning mastectomy right from the start. However, because of my age and my family history it was recommended that I have genetic testing done to see if I was a BRCA mutation carrier. I went ahead with the mastectomy while waiting for the results, which ended up coming back positive for the BRCA1 mutation. I had a sentinel node biopsy with no node involvement and a modified radical mastectomy with clean surgical margins, staged at IIA. Radiation was not recommended in my case, but it was agreed that I would begin chemotherapy. I began a dose dense regimen of Adriamycin, Cytoxan and Taxol. In the end, the combined factors of my age, the pathology of my cancer, and my family history, along with my own personal feelings and history with the disease led me to later opt for a contra-lateral mastectomy and bilateral reconstruction. I also had a prophylactic bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. Look that one up on the internet!

How did you research breast cancer and breast cancer treatments?

I used resources on the internet a lot and I bought a ton of books. I also sought out and gained help of other young survivors through an online support group aimed specifically at women like me. My hubby attended nearly every appointment and procedure with me, and took copious notes, which we poured over later, formulating new questions to ask or topics to research. We used to joke that our newest hobby was oncology.

How did you tell your family?

Wow, it's tough to think about that again. After my doctor visit revealed this lump and my mammogram was scheduled, I called my hubby and let him know what was going on. After my mammogram and ultrasound, I had a terrible feeling. It was something in a way the ultrasound tech would not make eye contact with me. I was expecting bad news. When I returned home that afternoon to wait, I was determined not to worry anyone else until I knew something for sure. But when the doctor called with the preliminary mammography results (BI-RADS 5, highly suggestive of malignancy). I immediately looked up on the internet and found that meant there was something of a 90% chance I had cancer. I was referred for a biopsy. I called my husband and said "Drive carefully, but get here as fast as you can, because I'm pretty sure I have cancer". When he walked through the door, I just held him and cried the longest time. The next person I told was my sister, but honestly I don't remember exactly when. It was definitely a whirlwind of a few days. One of the things I worried about was telling my kids. I have two sons, who at the time were ten and four. I thought a lot about how to tell them, and to me there was no choice but to be completely upfront about it, although we decided to wait a couple of weeks until they were done with the school year. We just didn't want to stress them out, and honestly in the meantime I had a lot of research and appointments and tests to complete before we got down to decisions anyway. When the right time came, we broke the news to them together, and then sat each of them down individually and told them everything we could but at a level we thought they could understand. We wanted to give them the facts but not overload them. We wanted to leave the door open so they could ask questions at any time. I felt strongly about all of this, having been a young child myself when my mother was diagnosed, and having it handled in almost a completely opposite manner. In hindsight, I think my family wanted to protect me from what was happening to my mom, but they didn't realize that not talking about things made everything I saw even more scary. So, we were very open with the boys, and they both handled it very well, in very different ways. One of the hardest parts for me was sharing my genetic results with my siblings. I know this is something that many people who find that they are positive for one of the BRCA mutations struggle with. You feel a bit guilty and a little bit like the voice of doom, particularly if you are the first one in the family to find this. In my case, I was lucky that my siblings all accepted the information graciously, if not happily.

Are you involved in any breast cancer support groups, fundraisers or breast cancer organizations?

I participate in an online community for young survivors. I think its important for each person that goes through this to find the source or sources of support that resonate with them, and with me, it was the group--Sisters In Survivorship. I also have been involved with the group at FORCE (Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered) at www.facingourrisk.org because of the hereditary aspect of my disease. We support LAF (Lance Armstrong Foundation) because this is a great organization and really resonates with my boys. Finally, I am a big supporter of the Breast Cancer 3-Day, supporting the Susan G Komen Foundation and National Philanthropic Trust Breast Cancer Fund. I participated in two of these events so far, and I know there are more in my future.

What advice would you give to someone newly diagnosed with breast cancer?

First, get all the opinions from all the doctors you need to make an informed decision and be comfortable with your treatment plan. It is important to be comfortable with the doctors treating you, but it can be a very good thing to get other perspectives and professional opinions. I know during my journey, I encountered doctors that I would not necessarily want to work with long term, but they all provided very valuable insights and perspectives on things. Second, you will probably feel in a hurry to get treatment underway, and when someone tells you that you have plenty of time to wait for that next appointment, you might feel like screaming at them. And by all means, push away for earlier appointments and call to see if they have cancellations. But remember you really do have time to do your homework and make very informed choices, so try to use your waiting time to do research, write down questions etc. If someone offers to have a survivor friend call you or gives you their email address, take the opportunity to make contact, get some questions answered. The more confident you feel in the decisions you make, the easier it will be to get through it.

What advice would you give to the family members and friends of someone diagnosed with breast cancer?

Don't start treating your friend or family member differently when you find out they have cancer. They are still the same person, they just face a new challenge. They need you to let them know you care, just by doing the things your normally do. Kiss them, take them to the movies, make them laugh, tell them when they are being a bonehead..whatever you normally do. They didn't just turn into glass and they don't need to be handled with kid gloves.

As a breast cancer survivor, what thoughts do you have on surviving breast cancer and being a breast cancer survivor?

Well, I have a lot of thoughts and feeling that still well up, years after the fact, and sometimes at the drop of a hat. I suppose that's why they call us survivors. But mostly, I just would say that I do feel responsible and honored to share my story, because when I was diagnosed I never realized just how many survivors were all around me. I think when your faced with it, its a wonderful gift to learn that someone you didn't realize was a survivor. It definitely gives a message of hope. I don't want anyone facing breast cancer (or any other cancer for that matter) to feel ALONE.

Name three breast cancer related books you would recommend:

My personal favorite was It's Not About the Bike by Lance Armstrong, though obviously its not breast cancer specific.

I also recommend The Breast Cancer Survival Manual. I have passed mine around a few times already. If you are just starting with your battle and want fairly straightforward, informative, but not overwhelming book to get you started.

The Breast Cancer Reconstruction Guidebook, definitely a book that helped me with my decision making.

Name other breast cancer related resources, on or offline that you recommend:

Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered, www.facingourrisk.org, is a great one if hereditary cancer is a concern for you.

The National Cancer Society website, which is very comprehensive and holds a ton of information on all aspects of breast cancer.

And when I was diagnosed, I found that I had a new best friend named GOOGLE. She was a great help in searching for terms and building my cancer vocabulary!