This week, Jane Brody of The New York Times asks, "Can getting cancer make you happy?"Brody writes about cancer survivors who experience cancer as a life-changing process, a process in which their priorities were finally put in the proper order and a true appreciation for the gift of life was realized. She also addresses those who experience growth through a loved one's diagnosis or even death, including her own experience of her mother dying at age 49.
I love this idea, that facing your cancer or a loved one's cancer can lead to personal discovery, a realization of just how wonderful each and every day can be. But sometimes the emphasis on using every experience as a chance for learning and personal growth, on finding the silver lining in the cloud, can feel like, well, pressure.
When my father was diagnosed with one of those cancers that sneak up on a person like a wildfire, one of those cancers that by the time you smell the smoke and call in the firefighters, the forest is already burnt down, there was nothing uplifting about it. I didn't learn anything.
It's absolutely awesome, truly a testament to the strength of the human spirit, that people can find the silver lining in the cloud that is cancer.
But sometimes, depending on the circumstances, a cloud is just a cloud. Sometimes you can't find the silver lining, no matter how hard you try. And that is ok.
Maybe I did learn something after all.
1. For me, I can say that it definitely led to a sense of empowerment because of my knowledge of how much I can take without becoming a bad person or a dead one. The other side of the coin is the physical and financial disempowerment... so maybe it all evens out in the end.
Regards,
Richard Day Gore
Posted at 9:46AM on Aug 18th 2007 by richard day gore