Not only did I get the tumor markers to check for breast cancer recurrence but I figured I would really go nuts and have them do the ovarian cancer tumor marker too. I figured if I'm going to be worrying anyhow I might as well worry about everything. Of course I'm also thinking about the other blood tests they will be doing, especially the liver enzymes.

Yesterday I showed up at my oncologist's office without an appointment. I knew that I wouldn't need to see my oncologist to get a port flush and blood taken, however when he saw that I was there he wanted to see me. He immediately thought I had some sort of pain somewhere for me to be all of a sudden wanting tumor markers that I usually refuse to get. I do not have any pain or reason for getting these tests other than the fact that mentally I need to do this for myself.

This is hard, very hard. I'm scared that something is going to show up. I keep telling myself that knowledge is power and that if they do find something wrong that I will be getting on top of the problem before it gets worse. At this point I'm not sure if I will be calling my doctors office all day in a panic on Tuesday or if I'll just wait and see if my oncologist calls me.

Breathe in breathe out, breathe in breathe out...