When first diagnosed with cancer, I
wrote in my journal:
"Time has stopped. The road has ended. Standing on the stage of my life, I
hear the final curtain call with one word, cancer. The surgeon says, without any further doubt, without any last minute
reprieve from this truth, that I have cancer, an invasive cancer. All hope is lost that my brush with mortality is a
mere near-miss and not a full-on collision with death. I listen for my breathing because I wonder if I am still
breathing.
Where do I go from here? Will there be any there from here to go towards? What do I need to do
next? Is there anything to do next? Does it matter anymore?"That was four years ago. I am feeling
emotionally better now.
In
Cancer
Resource, there is a section on the intense emotions that come in the first days and weeks after diagnosis; denial,
anger, fear, stress, loneliness and depression. All normal reactions to a cancer diagnosis, most are temporary. Denial
softens the impact and gives time to process information. Anger asks "why me?" and is often a way of
expressing fear and a sense of hopelessness. Fear of the unknown, pain, dying, the physical effects and costs of
treatment, or the burden it will place on the family. Stress at the shock of a cancer diagnosis. Loneliness because
friends stay away.
Depression, or feelings
of sadness, despair and helplessness.
Cancer Resource is a primer for the
newly-diagnosed cancer patient, and covers all the basics of diagnosis, treatment and care, and after treatment issues.
Cancer Resource is a 32-page free book available
online as a PDF document.
Millions of people around the world die in severe pain due to bans of morphine, reports The New York Times. While poverty plays a role, doctors also fear law enforcement of morphine bans. 
