
I know just how Jon Lester feels as he survives the cancer that took him out of the game of baseball and threw him into the arms of the medical system.
It's not the baseball I can identify with. It's the little bit of cancer fear that never really goes away. And it's the will to return to the land of the living that Lester and I share.
"When you're laying in bed at night, when you're not doing anything, you think about it a little bit," he says. "As long as I keep busy, I'm all right. Every now and again I feel something and go, `OK, what was that?' but I try not to think about it too much."
Lately, Lester is thinking mostly about a return to Boston's pitching staff, less than six months after a cancer curve ball came right at him, threatening both his promising career and his life.
Lester, whose weight was down to 190 during chemotherapy, is back up to 212 -- five pounds less than his normal weight -- and his arms are powerful, his legs strong, his appearance healthy.
As a rookie last year, Lester became the first Red Sox left-hander to win his first five decisions. He was 7-2 with a 4.76 ERA when cancer came crashing into his world. Diagnosed with anaplastic large cell lymphoma in August, Lester received treatment at both the Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston and at his hometown Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle. His last chemotherapy dose was delivered on December 4. His last check-up was in January. And now, newly 23 and cancer-free, Lester is ready to play ball.
Lester is prepared for his coaching staff to hold him back. He says he can tell everyone until he's blue in the face that he's ready but he knows the staff has his best interests in mind. He trusts their professional opinions, and he'll accept a return to the minors if that's what is in store for him.
"I'm not as hard on myself as I was last year," he said. "It's just a matter of enjoying playing baseball and not necessarily the result. So (I'm) just trying to enjoy things and take it day by day and live my life the best I can."