Am I a different person before and after cancer? Yes, most definitely. But what about the little things that come into our lives everyday? Did I chill out at all? I would have to say yes to that as well - ah, sometimes.

Do I need to clean the kitchen or should I go to the beach? I always like to have an immaculate kitchen so this is a tough one for me! I could call myself a neat freak except that I have messy drawers but everything on the surface has to look perfect.

So, my advice is -- Go to the beach!

I do have an easier time post breast cancer, saying to myself - ah, do it tomorrow, whats the big deal, its such a nice day.

Cancer has taught me that its ok to be messy sometimes, who cares! That is one of the many changes I have seen in my life.

I ask myself -- Am I smelling the roses? --as the old saying goes. I think I am. I really am.

Tomorrow, the second issue of Beyond: Live & Thrive After Breast Cancer hits newsstands. And I, for one, can't wait to pick up a copy of the Spring/Summer edition of this positively powerful publication.

If you read the first issue -- the Fall/Winter magazine released in October -- you know what this glossy book has to offer. There are personal stories and interviews, shared wisdom and sound advice. There are exercise tips and health tips and survival tips. There are stories about chemo brain and fertility and relationships. There is information about breast cancer research and resources and products that are tried and true.

I want to tell you so much more -- but really, I want you find out for yourself just how moving and soothing this magazine can be.

So plan to get your copy -- tomorrow -- and tell all your friends to do the same. If you need a gift for a loved one newly diagnosed or someone who has long survived this disease, try this on for size. Buy a few copies and donate them to your favorite doctors' offices -- a fresh magazine can do wonders for any waiting room. Share one with a neighbor, a relative, a new acquaintance.

Do what you can, will you -- to both reap the benefits of this solid source of inspiration and help sustain the life of this magazine? Because magazines are only as strong as the readers who embrace them. And trust me, this is one catch we cannot afford to lose.

My friend -- who has a friend newly diagnosed with brain cancer -- greeted me at the door the other day and asked with a sense of urgency, "How can I help?"

"Help your friend?" I asked.

"Yes, she said, unsure of what she might say or do in this time of great difficulty for everyone involved.

I told her a few things. And then I thought of some more. It wasn't terribly easy to come up with these ideas. Because even though I myself was on the receiving end of help during my cancer journey, it's still hard to imagine what an individual wants or needs -- or doesn't want or need. But here's what I've got to offer.

I hope this helps my friend.

I hope it helps you too.

• Allow your loved one to take the lead. If you sense this person wants to talk, then talk. If you sense talk is not welcomed, then don't talk. To determine whether or not your friend or family member wants to discuss cancer, approach the topic and judge the response you get. I know I can usually tell if someone is willing to open up -- typically the conversation just flows -- and when someone is putting the brakes on chit-chat -- typically the conversation falls flat.

• If talk is not in the cards, then consider an offer of food. Sometimes actions speak much louder than words. So think about calling a restaurant in your friend's town and ordering a meal to be delivered right to the door. Most eating establishments accept credit card numbers over the phone so location should be a non-issue. Even those deep in despair need to eat, and taking away the chore of cooking and cleaning up can be quite a gift.

• If the gift of food is not up your alley, how about sending a small gift, like a candle, a pair of cozy socks, a grocery store gift card, a music CD, a gift certificate for a spa. You name it, your special something might brighten the day.

• If you live near your loved one and have some free time, offer to drive to appointments, visit during treatments, pick up kids and entertain them for the day, clean house, cook, and clean up dinner. Try to be very specific with your offers. Say, "I'd like to pick up your kids tomorrow at lunch so you can take a nap" or "I'm coming over on Sunday to rake leaves." These offers are easier to accept than the "call me if you need anything" kind.
  

• If a quick stop at your loved one's house is possible, drop off a book on the front porch or set some pretty potted flowers by the door. Or do both. Then walk away without saying a word. Let your help take your friend by surprise.

• When you do have the chance to talk, avoid guiding the conversation with your own thoughts and advice, unless requested. Saying, "Everything will be OK," for example, may not be true. Assuring your friend she will sail right through chemotherapy may backfire if nausea and fatigue are just down the road. Stating, "it's OK, your hair will grow back," doesn't really help those living with the horror of hair loss. So stay away from promises and predictions and stick to the present. Ask questions, listen, and paraphrase back what your friend has shared. These are basic counseling techniques. The premise is that allowing the person to work through the issues is more important than what we can do to directly help.
  

• Don't forget about the good old greeting card or short note that lets your loved know how much you care. Let the card say it if you wish to avoid writing and then add an address, a stamp, and send your support on its way.
  

• This makes eight -- so much for sticking to my Sunday plan -- but I must share this too: Don't forget about your loved one after months and even years pass by. Initial diagnoses are tough and treatments are tough too. But as your friend survives each day, remember to check in. Cancer is a life-long battle for many. Support and assistance may be just as valuable a year down the road as it is on day one.

Blogger Kristina Collins wrote on February 11 about three great steps for reducing the risk of cancer. Her suggestions -- eat well, get fit, and stop smoking -- are such good tips and could certainly account for major health changes in those who heed this advice.

Each one of these recommended lifestyle alterations is a major undertaking. And if you're like me and find big, swift, sweeping changes a sure recipe for defeat, then this short to-do list may seem a bit intimidating. So I'd like to offer a bit of my own advice for accomplishing these health feats -- take baby steps.

Kristina has taken baby steps. She first quit smoking -- I'm not sure there's anything small about this success, however -- and now she's taking on membership at a gym. Cutting down on red wine comes next, she says, as she pursues a life driven by health.

I have just recently taken a baby step myself. I stopped drinking soda -- or pop as I called it before relocating from Ohio to Florida. I'd known for some time I wanted to rid myself of the sugar that comes packaged in my favorite drinks -- Dr. Pepper and root beer -- but for some reason, I was dragging my feet when it came to giving up this vice. Yet I did it. I stopped drinking soda, replaced it with water, and now have no desire for sugary drinks of any kind.

I am a creature of habit. I know this because I spent years drinking only water. But when cancer struck, I turned to the carbonation of soft drinks to settle my upset stomach. With time, my stomach stopped bothering me. But I didn't stop drinking soda. I kept drinking it for no other reason than pure habit. And when I convinced myself this practice was not necessary in my life, I cut it out.

Perhaps I'll tackle chocolate next. Or exercising more. Who knows. I'm just happy I accomplished one small task. And I hope you'll consider taking baby steps in your pursuits for better health. Just remember, we didn't hop up one day and start sprinting in infancy. It took years to fine-tune our ability to run on our own. And it may take years to carve out a healthful way of living.

Jack Osbourne, son of rock legend Ozzy and colon cancer survivor Sharon Osbourne, recently stated that he blames his alcohol and drug addiction on his father. During his mother Sharon's diagnosis and treatment for colon cancer, the young Jack used alcohol and the powerfully addictive prescription painkiller OxyContin as a way to cope.

Jack is quoted as saying, "My problems peaked when mom was sick and dad was dealing with his problems the same way as I was, by drinking, so I had no one to turn to. I was just hanging out with my crowd drinking and doing drugs." Jack ended up in an addiction rehab clinic to get clean and sober.

This is no way excuses the badly-decided choices that Jack made when he turned to alcohol and drugs as a way to cope with his feelings, but there is a sharp focus and more than a bit of snarkiness to the news reports concerning Jack's blaming comment that misses a great opportunity in regard to discussing the impact a parent's cancer diagnosis has on children.

As the American Cancer Society (ACS) states, "Families face many complex issues when one of their members has cancer. There will probably be a time during a family's experience with cancer when psychosocial support services will be helpful in meeting the emotional needs of the family. There are teams of experts, each with a different focus, who offer support and are trained in how cancer affects a family." ACS offers a terrific resource for the family with the online publication of Helping Children When A Family Member Has Cancer.

The Family Doctor states, "Every person has a different way of handling news that a loved one has cancer. Many people react with shock, disbelief and even anger when they're first given the news." The Family Doctor's Cancer: Helping Your Family Help You offers advice on different questions a parent might have, such as:

• How will my family react to the news that I have cancer?
• Should I tell my children that I have cancer?
• How do I tell my children that I have cancer?
• How can I help my children cope with their feelings?
  

In 2002, when I drove home after being told I had cancer, I wondered and worried about how I was going to tell my children, how I could avoid the unavoidable shattering of innocence in their world, how to protect them from their own fear and pain? I sat outside in the car, trying to stare through the walls of our home, knowing that in the next five minutes I would be changing our lives forever with the news of my cancer diagnosis. I wanted to freeze time, to save the innocence, to keep the awful news from being true.

In the ACS online resource for families, it states, "Parents can have a powerful effect on how their children react to a crisis in the family. In the beginning this responsibility can feel like a huge weight, but it is possible for family members to learn how to deal with and even grow through the experience of having cancer in the family."

Support services can include individual counseling, family counseling, and support groups. If you do not know where to start, ask your physician or call the local hospital or local ACS office. Someone will be able to help you help your children, and all family members, navigate through the crisis of cancer, so that everyone becomes a survivor of cancer in the best way possible.

Sexy. Seductive. Super-intelligent. All aptly describe Sharon Stone. Another is sportswoman, as Stone is an avid golfer. During a recent interview with Golf for Women, she shared a story about her father, also an avid golfer, surviving esophageal cancer by playing golf.

Given three months to live, her father was able to play through his chemotherapy and radiation treatments because of specially-built clubs designed by the golf equipment company Callaway. A feeding tube inserted after surgery prevented him from being able to bend. Without the new clubs, he would not have been able to continue in a much-loved positive activity.

Around the same time, Rob Lowe's father was being treated for cancer with a new targeted drug therapy, Avastin, and they helped Stone obtain the same drug for her father. She attributes the game of golf and the help of her friend Lowe with saving her father's life.

Twenty-two operations later, when Stone's father had successfully beaten cancer, she called the Callaway company to let them know how much a part she believed the company had in her father's recovery. The woman who took the call began to cry because it was the one year anniversary of her own mother's death from cancer and Stone's call lifted her spirits that something the company had done might have helped someone survive cancer.

For many golfers, golf is more than a sport. "Golf teaches you about life, about humanity, about things that will make you a better person," explains Stone. At the end of the article, Stone offers this advice, "Your life is a book; every page you write, you carry with you. You don't get to tear the pages out and throw them away. So write wisely. It doesn't matter what others write, ever, ever, ever. They don't know you at all. But what you write is indelible." Spirited. Insightful. Centered. All Sharon Stone.

Sharon Shakes It Up, Hollywood's A-list femme fatale has strong opinions about everything--including golf, is the Golf for Women cover story in the January/February 2007 issue. The interview has been published online here.

I loved Ann's story, you will too. Ann is a fellow young breast cancer survivor. She lost her mother at a young age to breast cancer. Ann has two sons and when she was diagnosed she knew that she had to handle the situation differently when it came to telling her children what was going on. When she was young and her mother was diagnosed the family tried to protect her by not giving her information about what was going on with her mom. She knows first hand how that approach, though well meaning, only made her more scared and confused. Ann has a lot of good advice to share and feels honored to share her story with us. You can also read more about Ann in her blog called The Life Journal of Geeky Gal.

The Men Against Breast Cancer organization wants to help men get involved in helping the women they love battle breast cancer. Their symbol, a pink and blue ribbon signifies the war against breast cancer is one that men and women must face together.

Marc Heyison and Steve Peck are the founders of Men Against Breast Cancer (MABC). Marc's mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1992. He understands how a breast cancer diagnoses impacts not only the patient but the entire family.

The website states that this is the first non-profit organization to provide targeted support services to educate and empower men to be effective caregivers when breast cancer strikes a female loved one; as well as, target and mobilize men to be active participants in the fight against breast cancer.

You can find many resources on the website such as the Partners in Survival workshop that brings practical advice and tips to help the whole family. Special emphasis is placed on men understanding the physical and emotional needs of their female partners.

The website will also have available in January of 2007 a book called For the Women We Love: A Breast Cancer Battle Plan and Caregivers Action Guide for Men.

There's a bit of breast cancer news in just about every magazine out there -- news about treatments and protocols and studies, news about celebrity diagnoses, news about lives lost to breast cancer and lives conquering breast cancer, news that is scattered here and there and everywhere. But now, there is a magazine all about breast cancer -- and just about breast cancer. All sorts of breast cancer wisdom is conveniently packaged into one slick, glossy publication that debuted on newsstands yesterday, September 19.

Beyond: Live & Thrive After Breast Cancer is a semi-annual publication from Meredith Special Interest Media, part of the Meredith Corporation -- a leading media and marketing company and home to magazines such as Better Homes and Gardens, Ladies' Home Journal, Parents, and Fitness. Meredith's new breast cancer venture provides women living with the disease -- and those who may one day encounter it -- with support and with the latest information on treatment and recovery.

The Fall/Winter 2006 premiere issue of Beyond features a cover story about Dallas Mayor Laura Miller, a survivor forging ahead into a life beyond breast cancer. Also filling the pages are inspiring real-life profiles and stories, nutritional advice, up-do-date medical information, fashion tips, the Pink Pages -- a resource guide that details upcoming races and products that support breast cancer -- and much more.

Behind the scenes of this issue is an advisory board of leading experts in the breast cancer field. Experts include Susan Brown, the health manager at Susan G. Komen Foundation; Carolyn M. Kaelin, director of Comprehensive Breast Health Center and breast cancer survivor; and Lillie Shockney, Administrative Director at Johns Hopkins Breast Cancer.

If there is one theme common to women surviving breast cancer, it must be the desire to live beyond the control of this life-threatening and life-changing illness, to recapture an existence that resembles something normal, to embark on a journey outside the confines of cancer. Tips, techniques, strategies, and inspiration for accomplishing these feats are printed on the pages of this new magazine that is sure to reach its intended audience -- that today includes two million women who are living with breast cancer.

In the moment of despair, the cliche time heals all wounds may seem anything but comforting. But that's because it's true. It takes time to heal and we are not in the right frame of mind just as something unfortunate has happened to accept -- or believe -- this advice that might come flowing from a well-wisher's lips. It's popular wisdom. It's commonly offered as comfort. It's easy to spit out. And while our wounds do not exactly fade with the passage of time, we are able to put a more positive spin on them. But it's tough to appreciate this until the unfortunate moment is long gone.

According to a recent study -- summarized in the September 2006 Ladies Home Journal magazine -- memories of distressing events, like the death of a loved one, don't go away but they do gradually get colored by more hopeful emotions. As time passes, we tend to remember strongly emotional experiences as positive even if they were once harrowing. "People are resilient," says one researcher. "We come to terms with our experiences in as positive a way as we can." So we may eventually see the death of a friend as something that made us stronger, something that reminds us to treasure our friendships. Our ability to find such meaning in the saddest of times helps transform it into a valuable experience -- and not just a sad one.

And this is exactly how I feel about having had cancer. No one could have convinced me at the time of my diagnosis that time would heal my wounds. I wasn't even sure how much time I had left on this planet. I was panic-stricken and frightened and tended to defeat conventional wisdom. But now that two years worth of time has passed me by and I am pretty certain I will continue surviving for a long time, I realize time is responsible for my positive outlook. Time did not completely heal my wounds -- I still have days when my wounds are raw -- but it surely bandaged them. And so I do believe time heals all wounds -- in a way -- and I am thankful for each moment of time I have to marvel at this truth.

It's kind of a blur how exactly I came to receive a phone call from a volunteer at the American Cancer Society just after my breast cancer diagnosis. I must have checked a box on one of many medical forms shuffled my way during this confusing time. Or I requested assistance from someone, somewhere, at some point in time. I'm not really sure. But I am sure of this -- one very nice woman, a young breast cancer survivor herself, called me one afternoon from the Reach to Recovery program. She asked me about my situation, told me of hers, and led me to resources -- other survivors, support groups, and the fitness group Team Survivor -- and she met me one afternoon with a goodie bag full of information and comforting gifts. She was my first link to the world of breast cancer survivors.

I've come to know this woman in different circles since she first called me. She was a physical therapist at the same center where I received therapy for post-surgery and radiation concerns. She has been present at every walk and fitness event and cancer function I have attended. And she leads the local Team Survivor group -- so I receive e-mails from her about all sorts of events and gatherings and opportunities for joining a spirited group of strong women. And just today, I received an e-mail invitation from her -- intended for all young survivors she knows who might be interested in becoming Reach for Recovery volunteers. I replied instantly. Yes, I want to do it. She happily replied. So in a short time, I will receive training for this very important job.

It's not a hard job -- it just requires some phone calls and a few personal visits. And the ability to share advice. And words of wisdom. And love and care and compassion for those who may not know how to manage during a personal brush with breast cancer. Whether facing a possible breast cancer diagnosis, a new diagnosis, or a troubling time with lymphedema or reconstruction, Reach to Recovery volunteers offer a hand to anyone grasping for assistance.

I must have been grasping during my own difficult time. I just don't remember much about that time. All I know is that someone helped me at a critical time. And now it's my turn to be that someone.

Coletta Barrett believed her stomach pains were caused by a gall bladder attack after eating greasy fried food. She excused a tightening in her lower abdomen as irritable bowel syndrome, and she explained blood in her stool as a response to stress. Only after a referral to a gastroenterologist led to a colonoscopy did she learn that the upper portion of her colon was almost completely blocked by a large tumor -- a cancerous tumor. Barrett was diagnosed with colon cancer. Her colonoscopy saved her life.

Barrett never once predicted she might have colon cancer. She thought the disease mostly struck older people. She was just 42. Screening tests are not even recommended until the age of 50. She had no family history of this cancer and had no typical risk factors associated with the disease. She did not smoke, was not overweight, and drank very little. But she did in fact have colon cancer -- shocking as it was -- and doctors believed her tumor had been growing for 18 months before detected. Fortunately, Barrett learned that her cancer had not spread. And she learned a few other things that she now shares as advice -- from her survivor point of view. These tips come from an article about Barrett in the August 1 Women's Day magazine.

• Barrett says, "know your body." And don't ignore or dismiss any changes that occur.
• Don't let embarrassment stop you from seeking help. Some symptoms can be difficult to discuss -- such as change in size and frequency of bowel movements, bloody stool, cramping, and bloating -- but still ask your doctor about them. Early detection is critical, she says.
• If diagnosed with colon cancer, learn as much as you can about the disease -- a well-informed patient has a better chance at a better outcome.

Barrett offers sound advice. And I think it is global advice. Knowing your body, discussing symptoms, and education after diagnosis are key for anyone. For everyone.

The Family Caregiver Alliance has written an excellent article in acknowledging that becoming stressed, irritated and frustrated are normal valid emotional responses that occasionally occur when being a caregiver. While the article speaks to a caregiver of someone suffering from Alzheimer's disease, I feel the information they offer applies to all caregivers.

All caregivers are going to feel irritation and frustration at some point -- perhaps not towards the person they are caring for so much as the circumstances and the cancer that led to the need for caregiving. Controlling Frustration is packed with great information, advice and tips.

In combating frustration, the Family Caregiver Alliance offers the following suggestions: learn to recognize the warnings signs of frustration; intervene to calm yourself down physically; modify your thoughts in a way that minimizes stress and learn to ask for help.

The warning signs of frustration might be: shortness of breath; knot in the throat; stomach cramps; chest pains; headache; compulsive eating; excessive alcohol consumption; increased smoking and suddenly feeling a lack of patience.

For ways to prevent frustration from building, they recommend caregivers do three things: make time for yourself; take care of yourself and seek outside support -- because not doing these three things puts the caregiver at greater risk for anxiety, depression, frustration and physical distress that may eventually keep a caregiver from being the caregiver they want to be for their loved one battling cancer.

The article Controlling Frustration is published online in the Strength for Caring Caregiver's Manual.

We received an alert from friends of Lynne Smith about important news regarding the cost of a colonoscopy. While it does not make much sense that the same diagnostic procedure could differ in cost by thousands of dollars, depending on the insurance company and institution, that appears to be the case.

Having a colonoscopy is without a doubt one of the best strategies a person can choose to take in cancer prevention or early detection of cancer -- but unless you are aware ahead of time of having a colonoscopy scheduled how the billing system works, you might find yourself needlessly owing thousands of dollars.

This is what happened to two of Lynne Smith's siblings. One owed nothing -- the other owed $2,600 dollars. At the Lynne Smith Fund blog, you will find valuable tips on how to keep the costs at a minimum.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) colorectal cancer is the second leading cancer killer in the U.S. For men, colorectal cancer is the third most common cancer after prostate cancer and lung cancer. For women, colorectal cancer is the third most common cancer after breast cancer and lung cancer. The CDC has published Basic Facts on Screening available as a PDF document that includes a chart explaining the different screening procedures and estimated cost for each.

But first, visit the Lynne Smith Fund for advice on becoming an informed patient.