There is no way to feel the pain of a cancer experience without having personally endured it. No doctor or nurse or researcher or scientist -- all who know the disease so well -- can adequately prepare anyone for the physical and emotional turmoil that descends upon every man, woman, and child diagnosed with this life-threatening disease. It takes the person walking in cancer shoes to paint an honest picture of life with cancer.
A comment was left on my personal breast cancer blog the other day. Although I do not know the woman who wrote to me -- or her name -- I do know what she is encountering as she begins her own walk with cancer. And here are her words -- and her sadly accurate portrayal of what it's really like to walk in cancer shoes.
I am new to the breast cancer adventure. I am 37 and was diagnosed on 10/2 and had a mastectomy on my left breast 11/13 -- my 7 year wedding anniversary. It is a roller coaster ride I am going through as you have already traveled. I am terrified!
Will the roller coaster of emotions ever slow down? I feel as though I am not able to find the positive in any of this as I read in so many stories but am dwelling on the negative. I miss my old life even though it was crazy and chaotic, but am slowly realizing it will never be the same again.
I do not know what treatment I will have until the 13th of December which is next week but seems like forever. I am working through the reconstruction and expansion portion right now which is an adventure in its own pain. I am an emotional wreck and my wonderful loving husband is taking the grunt of it all as well as my two beautiful kids -- my five-year-old little girl and two-year-old son.
Like you said my five-year-old just knows mommy is going to the doctor a lot and has a boo-boo but my 2-year-old is clueless which is nice. I just want my husband and kids to have their mom around for all the wonderful things that have yet to come but I don't want to be in this hole that I sometimes feel like I am in. Some days are great but some really, really stink.
Well, sorry to vent on you but the other thing is you feel so alone in this even though I have wonderful friends and a great husband. I don't always want to be the downer of the conversation.
Just wanted to share and let you know that your stories and blog are very helpful. Take care and my prayers are with you and your friends and families.