"I have a mammogram on Friday," I told my husband just two days before the test I will receive every six months for the rest of my life. The test I should not have even needed for another four years, when I hit the age of 40. The test that helped find a cancerous lump in my breast two years ago and will hopefully catch any future lumps in enough time to save my life.

The mammogram. It's a big test that hinges on one moment of disclosure from the technician who performs the procedure. The disclosure -- everything is fine or the doctor would like to see you -- predicts whether or not life goes on normally or is derailed by uncertainty. Mammograms are a big deal.

"Are you worried?" my husband asked after my announcement. I thought for a moment and then replied, "No."

For some reason, I am not worried about this mammogram. Perhaps it's because I am monitored so regularly by the medical establishment and I'm confident anything suspicious in my breasts will be caught early and treated successfully. Perhaps the routine of it all makes mammograms not so eventful anymore. Maybe I'm just coping better with the seriousness of it all, and mammograms have become one more mundane appointment that requires my presence.

It doesn't matter really. What matters is that I am calm about my mammogram, that I am not giving it serious thought, that I am free of anxiety.

What matters is that I am not worried.

On Friday, I was full of anxiety and panic and worry -- all over a lump I feel in my left breast that my oncologist says is probably just scar tissue from my lumpectomy two years ago. I don't like the word probably and the more I thought about it, the more unsettled I became. Too many young women hear that the suspicious bumps and lumps they detect in their breasts are nothing to worry about -- and too many women go on to later discover that these same bumps and lumps are in fact cancer. Sometimes it's in enough time to treat the cancer -- and sometimes it's too late.

I am a young woman -- 36 years old -- and I have already had breast cancer. I do not wish to obsess for my entire life about cancer but when I feel a lump in my breast, I want to know it is definitely nothing to worry about. Or I want to know that it is definitely something to worry about -- so I can treat it early.

So when I first got a mammogram and ultrasound appointment scheduled for a week from Friday, I accepted it and wrote it down in my calendar. And then panic set in. I realized I could not wait one week and that I should be able to demand a quicker response. So I called my doctor's office, spoke to the receptionist through uncontrollable tears, and somehow ended up with the doctor herself on the phone. "What's wrong?" she said. "I'm freaking out," I told her. "What do you want to do?" she asked. "Do you want to come in right now?" She told me she had a busy day, had a biopsy to perform that would take a while, but that I could come hang out in her office until she could get to me. Or I could come in on Monday, she said. I let myself calm down a bit and told her Monday would be good. She asked me what time I wanted to come -- she offered me any time that fit my schedule. I chose 9:00 AM.

So tomorrow morning, I will find out what exactly sits underneath the skin on my left breast, near my armpit -- what exactly it is that feels to me like a little mound of tissue that just doesn't seem right. Maybe it's scar tissue -- and I hope it is -- and maybe it's something else. I can only hope that at the end of my appointment I look foolish for pursuing something that doesn't deserve the attention I'm giving it. But if it does deserve attention, I will know I've done the right thing by vigorously pursuing an appointment I just couldn't wait one week for.

Our days start early now that Joey is in kindergarten and school begins promptly at 7:45 AM. His daddy gets him out of bed at 6:30 AM so he can have some time to wake to the world before shuffling out the door, and we've happily found that Mister Rogers' Neighborhood comes on at just this time. The same Mister Rogers that first appeared on television in Canada in 1963 and then in the United States in 1967 -- with a gentle man, Mister Rogers himself, spreading his calm but uplifting messages to children and nurturing personalities of kids everywhere.

The last original episode of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood was aired in 2001. And in 2003, Fred McFeeley Rogers died at the age of 74 after a brief bout with stomach cancer. But his legacy lives on as his show -- the longest-running PBS program ever -- still graces the television screen. I remember watching this show with my grandmother when I was a little girl. And now I get to watch it with my little boy -- who can also visit Mister Rogers on the PBS website.

Today, Joey and I started our day with a cheery little song, sung by the man who hated television and joined it only to bring about change -- to use this fabulous instrument to guide children in a positive direction. And here is what he sang this morning -- the song that is still playing in my head as I take on the day ahead of me.

It's such a good feeling to know you're alive.
It's such a happy feeling: You're growing inside.
And when you wake up ready to say,
"I think I'll make a snappy new day."
It's such a good feeling, a very good feeling,
The feeling you know that we're friends.

I hope it's a good day in your neighborhood.

For fitness, the practice of yoga promotes balance, flexibility and strength. America loves yoga, according to a survey conducted by the Yoga Journal. The top four reasons given for the interest in yoga were: flexibility, stress reduction, strength, fitness and conditioning. As yoga grows in popularity, it is also becoming Americanized, and there are a number of hybrid yoga practices springing up like: Acu-yoga, Yogilates, Disco Yoga, Hip-Hop Yoga, Punk Rock Yoga, Aqua Yoga, Doga (with your dog), Yoganetics, Soul FlowYoga, Freestyle Vinyasa Flow, Sonic Yoga, Yogic Arts (yoga combined with martial arts) and Nude Yoga -- which is a good thing, or a bad thing, depending on who you are asking.

Of the survey participants who were asked , these were the top four good/bad statements made to the increasing popularity of yoga in this country:

• "Americans need to recognize that practicing yoga doesn't conflict with mainstream religious values."
• "The commercialization of yoga is a good thing. It attracts many more people to the practice who otherwise wouldn't know about it."
• "Innovation is good for yoga. The many different styles that are evolving make the practice accessible to everyone."
• "Yoga in America is becoming too commercialized."
  

Is yoga the current fitness fad? Maybe. Will it fade in popularity? I suspect it will for those who flitter from one new trend to the next new trend. But, for example, there have been years of research into the potential benefit of yoga in improving the quality of life for cancer patients and survivors, and the National Cancer Institute has recently awarded M. D. Anderson a $2.4 million dollar grant to study the benefits of Tibetan yoga for cancer patients and survivors.

According to M. D. Anderson researchers, cancer and its treatment are associated with considerable distress, impaired quality of life, poor mental health and reduced physical function. For thousands of years, Tibetans have been practicing a form of yoga that might help reduce treatment-related side effects that accumulate over time for cancer patients. As research continues, yoga may become an accepted alternative and complementary therapy incorporated into mainstream medical practice for the treatment of disease and improving health.

Realistically, I am not certain that some of the trendy hybrid forms of yoga will endure over time, but the yoga that has been around for thousands of years is here to stay.

University of Texas M. D. Anderson Cancer Center researchers have confirmed what more than a few cancer patients have personally believed for some time now. Stress increases cancer growth and finding ways to relax and reduce stress is beneficial to cancer survivorship.

In a preclinical study carried out on mice with ovarian cancer, researchers found that cancerous tumors grew and spread faster when the mice were experiencing increased levels of stress. According to the researchers, the conclusion of this study is the first definitive link between psychological stress and the biological processes that make ovarian tumors grow and spread. It appears stress hormones bind to receptors directly on tumor cells and, in turn, stimulate new blood vessel growth and other factors that lead to faster and more aggressive tumors.

"The concept of stress hormone receptors directly driving cancer growth is very new," said Dr. Anil Sood, the study's senior author. "Not much had been known about how often these receptors are expressed in cancer, and more importantly, whether they had any functional significance. Our research opens a new area of investigation."

The good news in this -- besides the fact that this study begins to validate what cancer survivors have been saying for years in the personal belief of the link between stress and cancer -- is that stress can be controlled and reduced by lifestyle changes and medication. In fact, the researchers found a beta blocker heart medication effectively blocked the adverse effect stress hormones had on tumor growth.

This could open new areas of research. Indeed, Dr. Sood and his team will continue to research the role of stress in cancer and examine the effects of stress hormones on cancers besides ovarian cancer. To read more about the University of Texas M. D. Anderson Cancer Center preclinical study, go here.

I was present for death only one time in my 36 years of life. I consider this both a bad and a good thing. It's bad because I did not want my grandmother to die -- and watching it happen made it so real, so vivid, so painful. I don't think I would have ever chosen to watch my grandma die -- to watch her slip from consciousness to coma, to observe her altered body once death arrived, to witness the movement of her body on a stretcher as it was wheeled out of the house from the bedroom I still see every time I visit my mom's house. But I think I am lucky really -- and this is the good part -- because I got to be with her during her final moments. I got to watch her body as it lay still, peaceful and calm and still breathing. I got to talk to her and although she could not respond, I believe she could hear my words. And it makes me happy to know my grandma may have known I was with just prior to her flight to heaven. And after her flight, I got to touch her cool hands. I got to feel the power of the passing of one life -- a long life -- and I got to feel the comfort of a death that was not ugly or painful or difficult. It was sad -- it's still sad -- that my grandma died three years ago. But what a privilege it was to be part of the day she left this world.

Susan DeWilde left this world in much the same way -- with loved ones by her side. She was a fighter and had conquered several rounds of breast cancer, a tumor in her spinal cord, uterine cancer, lymphatic cancer, and then leukemia, which took her life at the age of 53. I don't know this from Susan herself but from her friend, Christy Mack -- who helped her accept her death and guided her into her own final moments so that she could escape her pain and die peacefully. Christy writes about her beautiful friend and her empowering death in an article that appears in the August 2006 Oprah Magazine. Titled Friends to the End, Christy's story details how she soothed her friend, cradled her hand, and talked her through her last breaths. She helped her on her way during a time her friend feared most. Christy writes, "What she and I shared the night she died was a precious gift of friendship, emotionally profound and sacred in its perfection. It broke my heart. It strengthened my soul."

This I understand.

Strange things have happened to my skin ever since I encountered surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation for breast cancer. I developed an allergic reaction to the Tegaderm tape and latex used during and after my lumpectomy. My entire chest and one underarm were covered in red, itchy, burning, blistery bumps that oozed and then dried up. It took weeks of misery and a bunch of creams, lotions, and drugs to calm my skin and my anxiety too. Then I became allergic to an antibiotic while I was hospitalized for chemo-induced fever and low blood counts. The same horrible skin reaction again covered my chest and this time, my back also. It happened again a few months ago after a trip to the beach and I can only imagine that it was some combination of salt water, sunscreen, and chlorine that prompted this attack. I am still not sure of the cause. But it struck once again recently after a trip to my neighborhood pool. Sunscreen and chlorine were again my possible enemies. So I am staying away from all possible culprits now -- the tape, latex, certain antibiotics, sunscreen, salt water, and chlorine. And of course, the sun too. Perhaps treatment has made my skin even more sensitive than it already was. Perhaps something else is at fault. Regardless, I am now ultra careful about anything I put on my skin. I avoid most everything -- except for Dove soap and sometimes some fruity smelling lotion for my legs -- and I look for anything that is targeted for delicate skin.

So an advertisement in a magazine caught my eye today -- an ad for a hypo-allergenic deodorant that is highly recommended by dermatologists and oncologists. Naturally Fresh Deodorant Crystal Spray Mist and Roll On are both extremely gentle and also very effective. They are 100 percent natural and are fragrance free. They last for up to 24 hours, do not stain, and are good for one year. Like some deodorants that merely mask odor, these actually kill the bacteria that causes odor. Naturally Fresh Deodorant seems like a great find to me -- and it can be found CVS, Target, GNC, Hannaford Bros., A&P, Harmon Stores, Drug Fair, and Kerr Drug in the United States and Shoppers Drug Mart, Jean Coutu, and GNC in Canada.

There are all sorts of gifts for dad on Father's Day -- shirts and ties and books and coffee mugs and golf balls -- and many of us have already spent money on the stuff we can wrap up and deliver or mail off to dad on this special day. But some gifts -- the ones we can't wrap up -- have an appeal that is priceless because they focus on the moment, they build relationships, and they promote mental and physical health. And here are just seven simple but everlasting gifts to consider sharing with dad on this Father's Day.

While many cancer patients use, or are interested in, herbal remedies to improve the quality of life during cancer treatments and beyond into cancer survivorship, research-based evidence in how and why herbs work is still largely ignored as scientific study. In my opinion, not nearly enough rigid investigation is going on in relation to herbal therapies even though, from a patient's perspective, there is much interest. I become very intrigued when I do read that a study will be done to further the knowledge into the validity -- or not -- of age-old herbal remedies. If it works, I want to know why.

Researchers at the Medical College of Georgia will be studying several herbs, ginseng and valerian, that might be of significant benefit to cancer patients undergoing cancer treatment to off-set some of the common troublesome symptoms like insomnia and fatigue. Ginseng is believed to fight fatigue and improve the immune system. Valerian is known to relax and calm, and act as a sleep aid. Perhaps while they are investigating these two herbs, they can figure out a novel way of toning down the smelly gym sock phenomenon associated with valerian. I still haven't found a way to use it without encountering its most unpleasant aroma.

I have had many moments in my life where anxiety and panic have filled my mind. But this is normal and necessary really as life delivers all kinds of situations that produce all sorts of emotions.

I can recall vividly anxious feelings before a school exam but this is what motivated me to study and prepare and to pass the exam with flying colors. This anxiety gave me a push, a kick in the pants -- in a good, healthy way.

Without a bit of panic, I may not have cared. I may have been aloof to the importance of doing well in school. But while life has presented me with a good amount of this healthy emotion, it has also tossed an abundance of unhealthy anxiety and panic my way -- the kind that has consumed my mind and twisted my insides. The kind that made peaceful living seem impossible.

Many forms of relaxation and meditation go back thousands of years, and modern research has proven that relaxation techniques neutralize stress by producing a calming effect. Stress can exacerbate illness. Relaxation can lessen anxiety, slow your heart rate, and lower blood pressure in the practice of meditation, yoga, progressive muscle relaxation, and biofeedback. Relaxation allows your body to enter into an enhanced healing state.

A Brief Relaxation Exercise with Dr. Lockewood Rush is a 15-minute step by step guided meditation focusing on the breath to stimulate the relaxation response. Provided as a free service, you can listen to the guided relaxation exercise online anytime you wish. Offered by Human Media, as part of Radio Free Humankind, you will be able to experience a soothing of the worries and stress you might be suffering from right now. Dr. Rush speaks in a comforting voice, suggesting that you leave your worries behind as you permit a healing energy to begin to flow through your mind and body in achieving an inner balance of calm. He suggests you can begin to relax and trust that you are a part of the peace and healing you need to be healthy. To listen to the 15-minute guided meditation, follow this link, then click on free: listen online.