Men Bleed Too is a story written by Thomas Brown. Thomas kept a journal and recorded his wife Barbara's journey through breast cancer, starting in December of 1992, after a cancerous tumor was found in Barbara's right breast.

This book, compiled from the journal entries that captured Thomas's life while going through breast cancer with his wife, provides basic information to help the male caretaker though the process and journey of dealing with a loved one diagnosed with cancer. He talks about medical decisions, care management, medications, treatments prescribed, and the emotional roller coaster of feelings he had when confronted with bad or good news.

This book can give the caregiver of someone diagnosed with cancer a feeling that they are not alone in the daily issues they have to face.

Sadly, Barbara died two years after fighting the disease.

Thomas has since married Connie, who encouraged him to turn his journals into a book. He is also at work on his second book entitled She Taught Me How to Laugh Again. In this story he relates how he and Connie met, helped each other through the grieving process and moved forward with their lives.

However unintentional she says it has all been when it comes to the sultry and seductive persona that oozes sexuality through the television screen during her cooking shows, How to be a Domestic Goddess author Nigella Lawson has made a career out of making food sexy and the act of food consumption sensual. It is part of her not-always-so-subtle coy kitchen charm.

But if we believe her life to be as silky smooth and decadent as warm cream flowing over a morning bowl of juicy plump strawberries, and equally as charmed as she is charming, we would be mistaken. Yes, she is remarried to multi-millionaire, ad man and art dealer Charles Saatchi, but she is also the widow of journalist and writer John Diamond, who died of tongue cancer five years ago, leaving her suddenly mother and father to their two children, Cosima and Bruno.

A decade earlier, Lawson's mother had died of liver cancer. Her sister Thomasina died in her 30s of breast cancer. Cancer changes people. It is unavoidable, and the change can take many forms. For Nigella, who in the public eye has taken criticism for her ample figure and lack of concern for the fat content of food, has an almost unreasonable fear about thinness. After watching three family members waste away and die from cancer, she sees thin as a sign of illness.

"So even though I mind it when I put on weight I have a visual memory of seeing those people become skin and bone, and that gives me a slight reality check," explains Lawson. In watching her cooking show Nigella Bites, she came through as warm, down-to-earth, without a care for pretentious protocol or rules for the sake of rules. It is the way she cooks, and I get the feeling it is the way she lives. Cancer changes every person it touches and shapes perspectives about what is truly important in life. Being comfortable and enjoying yourself, including the food you eat, is a good recipe for life. A recipe Nigella seems to dish up with ease.

Nigella Lawson is Food Network's newest host in Nigella Feasts. On January 7, the theme of the show will be Feel Good Food featuring Smoked Salmon, Avocado and Pumpkin Seed Salad, a Vietnamese Prawn and Glass Noodle Salad, a colorful Antioxidant Fruit Salad, and a Syllabubbed Yogurt. Yum.

Danny became aware of my port just before it was removed. He was only 18 months old when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and my journey went pretty much unnoticed by this small boy who had no idea ports were not standard on every person he met. Now he is three years old and even though he still has no real idea why a port popped up from underneath my skin for two years, he did come to realize it was something akin to a boo-boo that one day goes away.

My port went away on September 15. And ever since that day, Danny has been very concerned about the incision that marks the spot once home to a foreign device. For one week after my port removal, my incision was covered. Danny wondered why. I told him I was healing, that I had to keep my boo-boo protected, that I could not take a shower because it could not get wet. Danny was very attentive. He pulled at the neck of my shirt every time I held him to sneak a peak at the site of my surgery. He asked if it hurt, if doctors cut me with a knife, if new skin was growing underneath my bandage. "Yes", "yes", and "yes." I told him. And one day when I decided to take a shower, despite orders to keep the area completely dry, Danny said, "The doctor said you cannot take a shower." I told him, "I know." And he said, "But actually you did take a shower." I told him he was right and hoped he would not pursue my disobedience any further. He did not -- he was just checking up on me, he was just concerned about me, he was just wondering if I may have compromised something. I told him I was fine.

I did not do any damage with my rebellious shower, my bandage is off, and Danny only peeks once in a while to monitor the area. He is mostly back to his normal life, free from all nursing duties. And I am mostly back to life, free from my port and happily showered in love by my littlest guy -- the guy who was once oblivious to all things cancer related, the guy who somehow became my caregiver.

I found a book called Cancer Etiquette. The book was written by a woman who is a survivor of multiple myeloma and breast cancer. In this manners guide to cancer you can find advice on what to say to a cancer patient and what not to say. For example, only say "you look terrific" if the person really does look terrific.

The author Rosanne Kalick also tells us that we should be more specific when offering help to a cancer patient. Don't just say that you're there for them. Offer to do something tangible like cook a meal or baby-sit the kids. Rosanne talks about the distressing comments sometimes said to cancer patients and offers helpful advice on what should be said instead.

This book would be very helpful to caregivers, friends or family members of loved ones dealing with a life threatening illness.

I wrote another post a few days ago called Things not to say to a cancer patient. Well, here are some great things that were said to me when I was going through my cancer journey. These things helped tremendously!

• I will drive you to your chemo treatment.
• Here is some dinner I made for you and your husband.
• I would love to go wig shopping with you.
• Call me any time and I'll be here to talk.
• You still look beautiful to me bald.
• Here are some xanax!
• Can I give you a foot rub?
• Sure, I can take your nipple off and move it to where it belongs (plastic surgeon).
• I'll drive 2 hours to your house and go with you and stay while you get your breast biopsy and wait for the results.
• Hang in there.
• I love you.

Caroline Cheshire is the founder and online shop owner of Healing Baskets -- a place to find inspiring gifts for cancer patients and cancer caregivers. You can find cancer gifts for women, cancer gifts for men and flowers that don't compromise the immune system for cancer patients experiencing fragile immune systems as a result of cancer treatment. There are gifts for cancer caregivers including inspiration and how-to books, jewelry, music and one of my favorites, the Miracle Worker Mug.

Cheshire created her online business because of her own experiences facing life challenges. At one time, alone in a new town, with two daughters and six- week old twins, she was told she had thyroid cancer.

During the emotionally painful loss of miscarriage, Cheshire shares that while family and friends sent flowers, she sensed they were uncomfortable talking about her loss with her. Her intent with Healing Baskets is to provide a way for those who wish to reach out but might not know how to best do that, with a thoughtful gift of inspiration and encouragement. To view the gifts, visit Healing Baskets.

There is someone, or several people -- at the doctor's office, the oncology clinic, the chemotherapy treatment center, the radiation department -- that took the extra moment to comfort you or give you hope or listen to you share your fears or concerns or educate you in how to optimize your chances at cancer survivorship. Perhaps the nutritionist who took a genuine interest and spent time explaining the benefits of a cancer prevention diet.

Healing Baskets features the Miracle Worker Mug and suggests that this might be the perfect gift for a nurse or special caregiver in the health field who took extra time for you during the challenges of cancer treatment. I think it is a delightful idea!

Celebrity fashion photographer and co-founder of Dazed and Confused Magazine Rankin has launched a worldwide exhibit of his photographs conveying the special bond between women with breast cancer and the special family member or friend who comforted and accompanied them through the challenging days and nights from diagnosis to survivorship during the breast cancer journey.

Breast Friends is a photographic endeavor to capture the emotions of thirty international celebrities including Marcia Cross, Jerry Hall, Rosanna Arquette and Ronan Keating who have all been touched by breast cancer. Rankin began this campaign six months after he lost his mother Anne to lung cancer. He realized how important the bond between best friend and someone struggling to survive cancer can be when his mother died only weeks after she lost her husband, Rankin's father, to a heart attack.

Rankin is quoted as saying, "I thought my mother would have lasted another six months as she seemed so strong but the minute my dad died she deteriorated within a week." In July, supermodel Elle MacPherson helped Rankin with the initial launch of the Breast Friends campaign at the Oxo Tower Gallery in London. From there the exhibit will travel worldwide.

Sing for the Cure CD is a profound musical journey chronicling the experiences of women diagnosed with breast cancer. Narrated by Poet Laureate Dr. Maya Angelou, and featuring the performances of librettist Pamela Martin, the Turtle Creek Chorale and the Women's Chorus of Dallas, the CD offers original songs that capture the emotions of ten composers.

The selections on the Sing for the Cure CD include Prelude For The Uncommon Woman; The Community's Voice; Who Will Speak?; Facing Diagnosis; Borrowed Time; The Partner's Voice; The Promise Lives On; Taking Control; Livin' Out Loud Blues; The Child's Voice; The Sister's Voice; Girl In The Mirror; The Mother's Voice; Who Will Curl My Daughter's Hair; Pursuing A Cure; Groundless Ground; Proclaiming Hope; One Voice: I Will Not Be Silent; Testimonial and Come To Me, Mother.

Live concert performances of Sing for the Cure, dedicated to those affected by breast cancer, have been held in more than 50 US cities, including Carnegie Hall in New York City. The Sing for the Cure CD is available through the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation gift shop.

Caregivers are quiet heroes, helping and caring without asking for anything in return. Caregivers step in when there is a need and they bring with them a sense of hope and comfort during the challenges facing a loved one diagnosed with cancer. In the selflessness of love, they sometimes forget to take time to care for themselves. To avoid caregiver depression, frustration, resentment, illness and burnout, here are six ways a cancer caregiver can care for themselves while caring for someone else:

Take a daily walk. Exercise is a great stress reducer. Taking the time to stroll through the neighborhood or local park is like a deep calming breath for the body and emotions. If you are a jogger, go jogging. The point is to get away for a moment, get the body moving, and enjoy a change of scenery as you go.

Keep a journal. Daily journaling is a way to outwardly express your thoughts and emotions and can act as a relief value for emotions that are building up inside. It can also give you a better perspective. Sometimes we need to see what we are thinking and feeling to sort it all out.

Pursue personal interests. If you have a hobby or activity -- like writing poetry, photography, crafts, painting, knitting, reading, gardening, or listening to music, that has always been fun and brought you a sense of joy and contentment -- make time each day for your personal pleasurable pursuits.

Maintain friendships. We need our connection to others for the enjoyment of company and for comfort and support. Make regular weekly dates with friends and meet for coffee. Join a book club or start a book club. If there is a caregiver support group in your area, or a support group for families affected by cancer, consider joining.

Learn ways to relax. Try breathing exercises and muscle relaxation exercises. Schedule a massage. Take a weekly yoga or tai chi class. Cannot get away? Pop in a yoga or tai chi video and follow along.

Make your health a priority. Eat well-balanced meals, get plenty of rest, drink plenty of fluids. Find inspirational quotes that lift your spirits and display them where you can read them each day. Remember to laugh each day. Hug and be hugged.

To offer the very best care for your loved one, you must take care of yourself too. It's not selfish, it's wise.

If you are a caregiver that has found unique fun ways to take a moment to take care of yourself while taking care of someone you love, please share your ideas with other caregivers in the comment area following this post. If you are a reader with fun tips or ideas on ways a caregiver can take care of themselves while caring for someone else, please share in the comment area. We are all in this together, and we will get through the challenges and struggles of cancer much better with each other's support and encouragement.

When your loved one is diagnosed with cancer, you will find many friends and family members will come forward and ask what they can do to help.

Lotsa Helping Hands has provided a way for the caregiver to coordinate volunteer services of friends, family, and neighbors that want to help with a private online group calendar -- as a one-stop webpage. All you have to do is sign up for a free account and using pre-designed template screens, enter information about the need for help with meals, rides, respite -- whatever your needs might be where others could pitch in and help.

Once you have your webpage set up and information entered, members of your Lotsa Helping Hand group calendar automatically receive an email about the site and the needs that have been listed. They can see the group calendar, and volunteer for whatever fits their own situation. Volunteers receive automatic confirmations and reminders of their commitments.

Lotsa Helping Hands and National Family Caregivers Association donate part of their profits to supporting women's health education and researching novel approaches to the early detection and treatment of women's cancers.

Roy Thayers has experienced death up close, as he was caregiver for his first wife as she battled cancer -- he knows what it is like to watch someone fight for their life -- and he was there when she lost her life to cancer.

Thayers, who at the age of 77 lives alone, was recently told by his doctors that he was at risk for a fatal heart attack and might lose his life if he didn't undergo heart surgery to unblock the heart valves immediately.

The problem of avoiding death and living longer became a matter of time and money. When the NHS put Thayers on a nine-month waiting list for heart surgery, he worried he might not have that long to wait -- considering the urgency with which the doctors had impressed upon him concerning the imminent threat of a fatal heart attack without surgery. He was told he could have the surgery immediately if he paid for it himself.

The Center for Caregiver Training is developing web based education courses for AIDS/HIV and cancer caregivers that offer practical skills to manage and cope with the responsibilities of being a caregiver. Caregiving 101 has three completed modules of lessons -- Learning About the Disease; Working with Your Medical Team; and Building a Personal Support Team.

To make the most of the time spent visiting with the doctor, one of the lessons in the Working with Your Medical Team module is How to Be Prepared for a Ten Minute Doctor's Visit.

Here are some of the tips included in the lesson:

• Always maintain an up-to-date medication list that includes all prescription and non-prescription items taken.
• Keep a journal of information that the doctor feels is important. This might be weight, temperature, blood pressure, blood sugar levels, and level of pain.
• Between visits, make a note of any unusual symptoms experienced in the journal. This might be night sweats, nausea, lack of appetite, insomnia, fatigue, confusion or anxiety.
• In the journal, jot down questions you might have for the doctor as you think of them.
• Bring the journal with you when you take your loved one to visit the doctor.
  

Other modules in development are Finding Help in the Community, Tools for Life as a Caregiver, Daily Care at Home, Managing Medications, Maintaining Nutrition, Managing Symptoms & Side Effects, Managing Pain and Coping With Mental Changes.

When Someone You Love Is Being Treated for Cancer is a book of tips and insight from caregivers for caregivers when it comes to the needs and issues of being a caregiver for a loved one diagnosed with cancer. Published online by The National Cancer Institute, the introduction states, "The purpose of this book is to focus on you and your needs."

In reviewing it, I found it to be a valuable and realistic resource for family members who find themselves in the role of caregiver because a loved one has been diagnosed with cancer.