Here's what might be a typical train of thought for someone surviving cancer. That someone, in this case, is me.

I have been getting sicker and sicker for the past three days. Sore throat, sore ears, and a heavy head made me think at first it was some sort of sinus issue. Add a cough, a rumbling and painful chest, sore gums, chills and sweats, and a fever roaring past 102.8 and the worries start rolling in. I feel like I did twice before, just before I was admitted to the hospital with dipping white blood counts.

The worst of it hit Friday night and since I just couldn't make myself sit in the ER for hours on end, I overstepped my boundaries, tracked down my hospital's on-call oncologist, and listed off my symptoms. Since my treatment for breast cancer concluded one year ago, the doctor wasn't worried. He called it an infection and called me in a prescription. In a few days, when my course of antibiotics run out, I should be fine.

I was going to write a blog later in my series of blogs on toxins and stress and disease from the studies that I have been reading for the last month. But since a comment was made about stress and whether it has a correlation to disease to the previous blog I wrote on toxins and stress creating disease in our bodies, I will jump ahead and share some research I found on the relation of stress and disease. A relation to stress and disease has been researched by many doctors, psychologists, and medical research facilities and conclusions are that stress does several things to the body causing it to shut down in areas that can effect the body with disease and illness.

Do the common phrases, Tension Headache, Upset Stomach, Shaky Nerves, Tight Chest, ring a bell? Studies showed that work place stress has created an increase in heart disease and high blood pressure as well as making the body more susceptible to flu and viruses. It also has shown that stress can be related to Type 2 Diabetes as well as obesity. "Stress in general can disrupt the body's ability to process glucose, especially in people whose genetics make them vulnerable", said Richard Surwit of the Duke University Medical Center in a research article in the November/December issue of the journal Psychosomatic Medicine.

I've read stories about women whose breast cancer diagnoses were delayed because they explained away certain symptoms. One woman, an athlete, was told by her husband one day that her nipple looked different from the other. "It's probably just the jog bra I've been wearing all day," she assured him. They both moved on.

Some time later, this woman learned that her different nipple was a sign of breast cancer. And she had it. She just didn't know it. And so her diagnosis came late. Eight years later, this young mother of two small children died from a disease she explained away.

This is normal -- the art of explaining away all the odd messages our bodies give us. Perhaps it's the stigma of whining about every little ache and pain that keeps us from pursuing immediate medical attention. It could be the likelihood that our complaints are pretty normal, so we refrain from rushing to judgment.

I'm practicing this well-established art right now. It's odd for me because I've already had breast cancer, and I am usually ultra-sensitive to every twinge of pain I feel. So when I woke this morning, with a tight and aching feeling in my chest, one would have thought I'd be racing out the door, headed for the nearest emergency room. I considered the fact that perhaps I need to be seen, that a chest X-ray might be in order, but I took no action -- because I explained the feeling away. It went something like this:

It must be the way I slept. I slept in a different bed, with one child and one dog, and I don't think I moved an inch all night.

The feeling gets less intense with time. At this moment, I can only feel something -- and it's very mild -- if I inhale deeply.

If I have the same feeling tomorrow morning, I will pursue it -- no, I won't pursue it just yet because I wont' be sleeping in my own bed for a few more nights. I'll wait until I get back to my own bed and see what happens. Maybe this bed is not good for me.

This goes on and on. For me, I think it happens because I suspect nothing really is wrong with me. Perhaps I am dismissing something serious but mostly, I'm chalking this behavior to progress. Because there was a day when I ran to the dentist for a bump on the roof of my mouth -- it was nothing -- and I cried to get myself a next-day mammogram for some lumpy tissue I was convinced was cancer -- it wasn't -- and now, I am happy to feel more like a normal person. I am happy to have perfected my new art, which incidentally I will abandon in an instant if the discomfort persists.

My husband says he's had this feeling before when getting out of bed. I think I'm going to be OK.

I'm in another hospital lobby -- this time waiting while my three-year-old son has surgery to repair a hernia.

So I'm back to reading a magazine. This time I brought my own not-so-outdated publication -- The Oprah Magazine, April 2007. And as I sit here flipping and turning the pages, there is so much I want to tell you.

I'll be back with more. But for now, think about this:

"...see how the flesh grows back
across a wound, with a great vehemence,
more strong
than the simple, untested surface before.
There's a name for it on horses,
when it comes back darker and raised: proud flesh.
as all flesh
is proud of its wounds, wears them
as honors given out after battle,
small triumphs pinned to the chest."

Jane Hirshfield, From What Binds Us

I have a few small triumphs pinned to my chest -- they show in the form of surgery scars and radiation tattoos and puckered skin where a port once lived. Proud flesh. Stronger than the once untested surface. My honors for having survived a battle.

This e-mail just arrived in my inbox. It's one of those chain things -- you know, the read this and forward it to 11 people or all your plumbing will blow up messages. And while I don't tend to pass on to friends and family these types of scare tactics, I realize that the words that follow are definitely worth a read.

So I've extracted all warning and threats from the message I received, and I've pared it down to a very funny piece of prose I believe will strike a chord with women everywhere who know how very important -- and how very painful and humiliating -- the dreaded mammogram can be.

And so here it is, in all it's glory. Read it, absorb it, love it, and pass it on. Or don't pass it on. I'll be OK with your decision either way. Promise.

Go Get Your Mammies Grammed

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"OK," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooters in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath," she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!

Author Unknown

New research indicates when women and men have lung cancer of the same stage and receive the same treatment, women are more likely to survive.

Several studies extracting data from national cancer registries have shown that lung cancer survival is different for men and women. This study, published in the journal Chest, is the first to compare the sexes when staging and treatment are identical.

It took seven years to follow 1,085 patients with non-small cell lung cancer -- the most common type of the disease -- and at five years, 60 percent of women were still alive compared with 50 percent of men. Overall, female survival rates were consistently higher for all stages of the disease.

Researchers, who ensured there were no differences between the sexes in terms of race, other diseases, smoking history, lung function, and treatment, are not exactly sure why women fare better. But they speculate that women might respond better to chemotherapy.

What researchers do know for sure, however, is that these findings -- if given a chance -- could help improve the overall five-year survival rate for patients with non-small lung cancer by helping to locate new therapeutic options.

In 2006, 174,470 people will be diagnosed with lung cancer in the United States. About 92,700 men and 81,770 women will develop the disease -- the leading cause of cancer death among both men and women.

An estimated 162,460 men and women will die of lung cancer this year, accounting for 28 percent of all cancer deaths and taking more lives than colon, breast, and prostate cancers combined. While most people diagnosed with lung cancer will die within the first two years of diagnosis -- this has not changed in 10 years -- some people are cured. There are currently about 333,000 long-term survivors.

Photographs tell powerful stories. They depict people and objects and landscapes and emotions in deep, meaningful ways. They capture permanent visual representations of moments in life. They paint pictures that even the most well-crafted words could not reproduce.

When Mary Ann Nilan was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2004 at the age of 40, she knew her story must be told -- through pictures. So she asked a photographer to record it all, stating, "I hope the pictures make the road easier for other women." The rest is history.

She calls it a photo essay and titles it The Diary of Healing. For 17 frames -- with photographs dominating each space and text kept to a minimum -- Nilan shares her journey that began with the discovery of breast cancer in both breasts and several lymph nodes, the journey that took her through chemotherapy, a double mastectomy, and reconstruction with implants.

Her photographs document significant stops on her physical and emotional trek. They show her bald head, the wig she wore only once and then let hang on a hook, the scars that crossed her flat chest after surgery, an injection of saline that painfully pierced the skin of her new breasts, her children measuring her hair as it grows in after chemotherapy. The photographs are both hopeful and chilling. They are breast cancer. They are more than words could ever capture.

The overall cure rate for the 20,000 children diagnosed with cancer in the United States each year is more than 75 percent. Sounds good -- especially when 50 years ago, most children diagnosed with cancer died. But considering that only one in three childhood cancer survivors remain healthy, perhaps this is not such good news.

Thirty years after diagnosis, about 40 percent of survivors have a serious health problem and one-third have multiple problems. Strokes, heart disease, and kidney failure are just a few of the major health concerns that plague many survivors who have entered adulthood.

Doctors have long known that cancer treatments can cause new cancers later in life. But the Childhood Cancer Survivor Study -- the largest ever childhood study of its kind -- shows there are other long-term health problems. Researchers studied 10,000 survivors -- past studies examined 200-300 survivors -- and found these survivors were eight times as likely as their siblings to develop severe and life-threatening conditions. They found survivors of bone tumors, nerve and brain cancer, and Hodgkin's disease faced the highest risk.

The source of these later-in-life health problems vary. Kidney failure may result from damage caused by chemotherapy or radiation or the infections children suffer when their immune systems are weakened. Drugs used to treat infections may also be to blame. Strokes may result from head and chest radiation.

Cancer treatment for people of all ages comes with a price. We buy time, we buy life in exchange for the unknown. But for children -- who stand to live longer than adults -- there is a greater unknown. Sadly, there is a dark side to surviving cancer.

There are various risk factors that can contribute to the development of breast cancer. Being female is the single biggest risk factor that on its own puts all women in jeopardy. But there are other risks -- many beyond our control and some more significant than others -- that can help explain why some women are diagnosed with the most common cancer in women in the United States. And why others are not.

Smoking is the biggest risk factor for lung cancer -- and 90 percent of all lung cancer cases are related to smoking. But family history is a risk factor too and can nearly double the risk of developing the deadly disease.

A study published in the October issue of Chest found by studying a population of Japanese adults that people with a first-degree relative -- mother, father, or sibling -- who had lung cancer had a 95 percent higher risk of contracting the disease. Those who smoked had the greatest risk, but those who did not smoke were still at risk. And women were more at risk than men. The type of lung cancer most associated with family history is squamous cell carcinoma.

The results of this study do not yet translate into recommended guidelines for screening. But those with a family history of lung cancer should make their physicians aware of their history. And perhaps one day people with family history will be identified as high-risk for lung cancer and will be included in further studies. In the meantime, these individuals should avoid all contact with all inhaled and second-hand smoke and should protect their children from all forms of tobacco smoke.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that more than 180,000 cases of lung cancer are diagnosed each year. About 170,000 die from the disease every year. It's the second leading cause of death for men and the third leading cause of death for women.

Adriene Hughes was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after her 44th year of living. She found her lump after participating in a 5K walk, which for some reason, caused her breast to swell. The swelling led her to the lump -- and that's how she discovered her cancer. Adriene lives in Southern California, works as a media specialist, and spends her time taking photographs, knitting, and baking cookies and breads.

I have never met Adriene, have never spoken with Adriene. But we have communicated through our on-line journals and through e-mail ever since November 2004 -- when we each received a breast cancer diagnosis that changed the course of our lives forever.

Adriene is a gem, a treasure, a true inspiration. And here are her words.

The Lung Cancer Alliance -- the only national non-profit organization dedicated entirely to lung cancer patient support and advocacy -- asked pulmonary clinical nurse specialist Donna Wilson to help educate the lung cancer community about healthy breathing. Wilson agreed and her breathing tips, available on podcast, are intended to relieve shortness of breath related to pain or activity. Her three breathing techniques -- detailed here -- are simple, easy-to-understand, and truly relaxing.

Before beginning this series of breathing exercises, stop whatever you are doing and sit down or lean against a wall.

• Place chin to your chest to relax your neck muscles. Breathe 10 short bursts of air in and out of your lips. As you expel air, neck and chest muscles should relax.
• Place chin to your chest. Breathe three times in through your nose and out through your mouth.
• Place chin to your chest. Close your mouth, and breathe four times in and out only through your nose.
  

After completing these exercises, lift your head, breathe normally, and let your shoulders relax. In a few minutes, your entire body should start to relax -- and shortness of breath will resolve.

I don't have lung cancer -- but I do have moments of anxiety and panic. So I plan to save these tips. And I plan to use them. And I plan to share them. Because we all can benefit from a dose of relaxation.

In the past year, I have had three severe skin reactions characterized by red, itchy, burning bumps that start on my chest and without fail climb over my shoulders and onto my back. They last for a few weeks, are irritated by the Florida heat, and have had no known cause -- until today when I visited my dermatologist for a skin cancer screening and briefed her on this bizarre condition that has kept me away from sunscreen and out of the swimming pool and in hiding from the sun. I have suspected that sunscreen, chlorine, the sun -- or some combination of the three -- have been my potential irritants. So I've been avoiding them altogether. But I learned today that the sunscreen and the chlorine are not to blame. That leaves the sun, which is the most likely culprit -- and only because I have received chemotherapy with one very toxic drug. Adriamycin.

My dermatologist told me about a phenomenon called UV Recall that is associated with Adriamycin. Apparently the toxicity of this drug, even though administered long ago, can be recalled, causing a reaction when the UV rays of the sun soak into my skin. Sunscreen may help, my doctor told me, but she cautioned me that it is just a screen -- it does not offer full protection. And she said the best suncreen option would include zinc oxide. I think for me, though, staying out of the sun is my best bet. It's not ideal -- it means I will remain on the fringe of the swimming pool, hiding in the shade, while my boys swim their little hearts out. And tropical vacations will be off my wish list. And I will seek outdoor fun mostly after the sun goes down. But this is okay -- I knew there were long-term side effects of chemotherapy drugs. I am just thankful for now that my heart has not been compromised -- a side effect of both Adriamycin and the drug Herceptin that I have also received. And it's also not a bad thing that the steps I must now take to prevent skin reactions are also the steps that protect me from skin cancer. So in some sort of round-about way, my inconvenient skin issues may just help me stay healthy. And that's just fine with me.

I will be honest. After a double mastectomy left my chest mutilated and scarred, I worried if I would be physically attractive to a man after breast cancer surgery. It's not that I think men are shallow, it had more to do with all that cancer was taking away in my life, and I was not sure how much I would pay in the final cost of losses.

Worse yet, I wondered if simply being someone who had been diagnosed with cancer would make people run the other way. If the private conversations I have had with other women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer are a true indication, these are secret fears most of us share.

We each find our own inspiration back to feeling accepted and attractive in reclaiming the every day challenges and joys of relationships and life. For me, one of the ways I found that gave me hope was watching other breast cancer survivors enter new relationships or get married. As in -- obviously it doesn't seem to matter when it comes to love how imperfect you might be physically -- cancer surgery scars and all -- or that you were someone who had cancer.

I even find inspiration in Kylie Minogue being voted the number one desired traveling companion of men in a poll conducted by British Airways. She beat out Rachel Stevens and actress Angelina Jolie for the top spot. Not bad.

Yes, I know, few of us have the attractive quality of fame, fortune and international celebrity status to carry us along, but that does not matter. The fact that Minogue was voted by men as the number one person they would most like to be seated next to on a flight just reaffirms one more time the hope factor for me.

Seriously, I am okay now, it's been a few years but I remember when this private fear hurt my heart and I wondered if cancer had stolen more from me than was obvious at the time of diagnosis. If you are newly-diagnosed and reading this, and worry and wonder privately what life will be like down the road, it only gets better and the fears and worry about sex appeal will be have been for naught. Few will run the other way.