We have written here at the cancer blog about Courtney Nicole a few times. You can find posts here and here. Courtney passed way about eight months ago. Her mom still keeps a journal of what is going on in her life and how she is coping with the loss of her nineteen year old daughter.

I find myself going to her site often to see how she is doing. It is heartbreaking to read her words at times and encouraging at other times. She is trying to go on -- but how, without her daughter?

Recently, Court's mom posted Its Like a Scab! on her website. Here's what she said:

A True Survivor - written by Courtney Nicole - April 18, 2005. Courtney passed away in November 2006.

When the word survivor comes to mind, there are always a few typical thoughts that come into one's mind. One might say a survivor is a person that never dies, or someone that can handle anything without any troubles. Another person might say something as simple as this" a survivor is someone that has beaten an illness". A common thought that most people have when they think of a survivor is that he or she is extremely tough, both physically and mentally. But a survivor is so much more than all of those things. A true survivor is fearless. He or she is not afraid of any challenge that is put in front of them. A true survivor is strong in all aspects of an individual. He or she can stay mentally strong during even the roughest times. A true survivor perseveres through it all. For example: when a cancer patient has been told that her next few months are going to be some rough ones, that doesn't mean it is time to just give up; she has to stay strong and keep fighting. That brings another point: a survivor is a fighter. He or she never loses hope -not even in their very last moments of life. What makes survivor so unique is their warm-heartedness. A true survivor is not someone who is only concerned about oneself, but he or she is concerned about others first. To sum it all up: a true survivor is one whom may undergo many battles and defeat without a single complaint.

A survivor is fearless. They are challengers. they are not afraid to take on a battle when the time comes down to it. Survivors take it to the limit because they know their boundaries and how much they can handle. Many children diagnosed with cancer fall into this category of true survivors. During my previous years in and out of the hospital, I have met the most amazing children. These kids are probably more mature than many adults I know today. These kids have been through it all and are fearless because of that. Kids don't have that self-consciousness about themselves. They are not afraid of what they look like. A person that has never been affected by cancer or some other illness would probably have a nervous breakdown if they had to go out in public bald. But a true survivor, on the other hand is not afraid of her appearance. They are not afraid of risking their reputation to benefit others. A true survivor is an amazing person all around.

One quality that people look up to in a survivor is their will to persevere. A survivor is one who never gives up, no matter how long it takes. The road may be a long one, but they will follow it every step of the way. A true survivor is an optimist. They never think about what might happen or what could happen. They always look at the bright side and never lose hope - those are the keys to survival. Survivors don't have time to dwell on what is happening now and wait around for something good to happen. They are go-getters and are not afraid of what might face them on the road ahead.

Finally, a survivor is warm-hearted. These people are the best of the best. I've always thought that it was so ironic when I heard that about 85% of the donations that are taken in by charities and cancer programs are from the survivors themselves. A true survivor is looking out for what is best for others. They feel obligated to stay strong for their family. They never show fear in any form, probably because they don't have any fears. As I said before, survivors are amazing people with amazing stories.

A survivor is an ultimate achiever, honored for his or her meaning as a person and contributions to humanity. A true survivor is surely a person of strength, power and grace. It may be further understood by those who know them well that he or she is bursting with patience and endurance, a little known key to success. Such a person is filled with inner beauty, elegance, and harmony. Survivors don't dwell on uncertainty when life deconstructs around them. Survivors resist weakness - they love and embrace every ounce and sign of life. Survivors are our life force, and because of this they never really die. Everyone looks up to them as our heroes. I know quite a few people who would call themselves survivors, but only a select few actually fit into this category.

These words were written by a True Survivor - my hero - my daughter...

I've been reading her blog ever since Kristina Collins first wrote about her. I've been reading about her battle with leukemia -- for the second time -- and about the bone marrow transplant she received just recently. I read about her brother who became her bone marrow donor and her family and friends who became fierce supporters and cheerleaders for this young woman sure to beat cancer six years after she first conquered the disease.

Courtney Nicole did not win this battle. Just days ago, in the midst of her bone marrow transplant process, Courtney's body was infected with a bacteria that forced the removal of one leg. It turned out the bacteria was not confined to her leg -- it had invaded her entire body -- and it became clear that the fighting spirit of this woman was needed not here on Earth, but in the heavens above.

On November 14, 2006, Courtney earned her angel wings. In the words of her sister, "she will be young and beautiful forever and always." Indeed, she will.

Goddesses Don't Buy Green Bananas is a heart felt compilation of extraordinary photos of some extraordinary women. The Goddesses that are photographed in this book are real women; they are wives, mothers, daughters and friends. Lesley Daley, the author and photographer, published her book after her thirty five year old husband was diagnosed with cancer. Lesley says that those who have faced this life threatening disease have inspired her to do this project.

Last week I did a post about Courtney Nicole and her battle with leukemia. Courtney's mom gives updates on her daughter daily and I'm happy to say that she tells us she is getting stronger everyday. Of course they are not out of the woods yet at day +26 after her bone marrow transplant -- but things are definitely turning around for the better. I mention Courtney because she is featured in the book as The Goddess of Spunk and Cheerleading.

This book is a tribute to all women who's lives have been touched by cancer.

I came across Courtney's webpage last week and have been reading updates every day since. Her mom is keeping friends and family updated on Courney's progress at her website called Courtney Nicole. Right now Courtney is in the hospital on day +19 after receiving a bone marrow transplant. Her brother Gabe was a match and became Courtney's donor.

Courtney's mom lives at the hospital with her daughter, day and night watching and waiting for her to recover. Thats what moms do. It just breaks my heart knowing that Courtney is suffering each day not able to be given any food or liquids because of complications from the chemotherapy/bone marrow transplant.

Courtney was first diagnosed with Leukemia (ALL) in September of 2000. This is her second time battling the disease. I thought that it would be nice to have some survivors, moms of survivors or anyone for that matter to leave a message on Courtney's guestbook. I know I'm going to!