In a recent post, I wrote about a study that showed that if we can put a name to our feelings, our brains undergo real changes; our fear is reduced along with the intensity of negative emotions.Sounds like great advice. Except sometimes it's hard to know exactly what we are feeling.
Marshall Rosenberg, the author of Nonviolent Communication, has created a model for compassionate communication. Rosenberg's model "guides us to reframe how we express ourselves and hear others by focusing our consciousness on what we are observing, feeling, needing, and requesting."
One part of the Nonviolent Communication model is trying to figure out exactly what we are feeling. Rosenberg encourages the use of true "feeling words" when we are communicating our needs to others.
Here is the list of feelings from the CNVC. They include feelings that we might be experiencing when our needs are being met and not being met.
If we can pinpoint how we are feeling during times of stress, whether it be daily stress or the stress related to a cancer diagnosis, recovery, or even a grieving process, we can ask for what we need in a more effective way. And hopefully catch some of that brain-calming effect.
A cancer diagnosis for ourselves or our loved ones can throw us into a whirlwind of emotion, including anxiety, anger or depression. According to a recent study published by Matthew Lieberman at the University of California, Los Angeles in the journal Psychological Science, 
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Research indicates that young breast cancer survivors have a harder time recovering emotionally from cancer than women who develop the disease later in life.
Evangelical preacher 
Those of us diagnosed with cancer are not the only survivors of our diseases. Our families and friends and caregivers and even employers and co-workers survive right along with us. Sure, the facets of our survivorship vary tremendously -- but we all survive the wrath of cancer in our own unique ways.
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Dear Lindsay,
When I cry, I write. It makes me feel better to do something productive with my emotions, to channel my tears into something meaningful, to share my on-going journey with cancer so others may somehow benefit.
Photographs tell powerful stories. They depict people and objects and landscapes and emotions in deep, meaningful ways. They capture permanent visual representations of moments in life. They paint pictures that even the most well-crafted words could not reproduce. 
I wrote this journal entry one year ago today. It's one of many entries I look back on to remember my journey with breast cancer, to capture the emotions that preceded the ones I have now, to chart just how far I have come since the day of my diagnosis. This is one of my happier journal entries -- written at a time when I was coming back to life after surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation, when I was happy to be alive and in the company of two little boys whose simplicity inspired me.
Need one more reason to calm down? Take it all in stride? Walk on the sunny side of the street? 
In the moment of despair, the cliche time heals all wounds may seem anything but comforting. But that's because it's true. It takes time to heal and we are not in the right frame of mind just as something unfortunate has happened to accept -- or believe -- this advice that might come flowing from a well-wisher's lips. It's popular wisdom. It's commonly offered as comfort. It's easy to spit out. And while our wounds do not exactly fade with the passage of time, we are able to put a more positive spin on them. But it's tough to appreciate this until the unfortunate moment is long gone.
Celebrity fashion photographer and co-founder of Dazed and Confused Magazine Rankin has launched a worldwide exhibit of his photographs conveying the special bond between women with breast cancer and the special family member or friend who comforted and accompanied them through the challenging days and nights from diagnosis to survivorship during the breast cancer journey.
Stuffing your emotions, or keeping it all inside, has led more than one person down the path to trouble. At some point, if you do not express your thoughts and feelings, especially the negative ones, you stay emotionally frozen in time. It's kind of like physically clubbing yourself over the head repeatedly day after day. Of course, we cannot go around randomly screaming at people or speaking before we give ourselves time to think. There are effective ways to open up and share that will lead you to better health and help you to maintain a good relationship with family members and friends at the same time. Journaling is good, as is talk therapy or belonging to a support group. 
