Gardening is good for the soul. I'm sure of it. It did wonders for my grandma, who planted and flowered and blossomed for most of her life and long after her rounded back and arthritic fingers told her to stop. She just couldn't help herself -- the fruits of the earth brought her such joy that the toll hard labor took on her body was somehow worth every trace of dirt that crumbled beneath her fingertips.

In my own small way, I can't resist either. I'm no lifelong gardener or anything. I'm more of a spur-of-the-moment kind of girl. And I haven't a green thumb on either of my hands. My flowers always seem to die. Because no matter how much I love them at the beginning of the warm season, I end up neglecting them.

I tell my husband every year, "Please remind me not to buy flowers this year." It just seems silly to spend so much money only to toss my dead blooms after they wither and shrivel. So my husband reminds me. And I go right back out and buy more. Like I did today.

I spent about an hour with my little boys shoveling dirt and arranging red and orange and yellow and white flowers in all sorts of pots. It was a priceless hour -- although really it cost me about 60 bucks. It was refreshing and rejuvenating and in a way, healing.

I know the effects of today's flower therapy will fade, just as the flowers themselves will fail to thrive. But I also know I will do it all again next year. Because it's good for my soul. And I just can't resist.

My friend -- who has a friend newly diagnosed with brain cancer -- greeted me at the door the other day and asked with a sense of urgency, "How can I help?"

"Help your friend?" I asked.

"Yes, she said, unsure of what she might say or do in this time of great difficulty for everyone involved.

I told her a few things. And then I thought of some more. It wasn't terribly easy to come up with these ideas. Because even though I myself was on the receiving end of help during my cancer journey, it's still hard to imagine what an individual wants or needs -- or doesn't want or need. But here's what I've got to offer.

I hope this helps my friend.

I hope it helps you too.

• Allow your loved one to take the lead. If you sense this person wants to talk, then talk. If you sense talk is not welcomed, then don't talk. To determine whether or not your friend or family member wants to discuss cancer, approach the topic and judge the response you get. I know I can usually tell if someone is willing to open up -- typically the conversation just flows -- and when someone is putting the brakes on chit-chat -- typically the conversation falls flat.

• If talk is not in the cards, then consider an offer of food. Sometimes actions speak much louder than words. So think about calling a restaurant in your friend's town and ordering a meal to be delivered right to the door. Most eating establishments accept credit card numbers over the phone so location should be a non-issue. Even those deep in despair need to eat, and taking away the chore of cooking and cleaning up can be quite a gift.

• If the gift of food is not up your alley, how about sending a small gift, like a candle, a pair of cozy socks, a grocery store gift card, a music CD, a gift certificate for a spa. You name it, your special something might brighten the day.

• If you live near your loved one and have some free time, offer to drive to appointments, visit during treatments, pick up kids and entertain them for the day, clean house, cook, and clean up dinner. Try to be very specific with your offers. Say, "I'd like to pick up your kids tomorrow at lunch so you can take a nap" or "I'm coming over on Sunday to rake leaves." These offers are easier to accept than the "call me if you need anything" kind.
  

• If a quick stop at your loved one's house is possible, drop off a book on the front porch or set some pretty potted flowers by the door. Or do both. Then walk away without saying a word. Let your help take your friend by surprise.

• When you do have the chance to talk, avoid guiding the conversation with your own thoughts and advice, unless requested. Saying, "Everything will be OK," for example, may not be true. Assuring your friend she will sail right through chemotherapy may backfire if nausea and fatigue are just down the road. Stating, "it's OK, your hair will grow back," doesn't really help those living with the horror of hair loss. So stay away from promises and predictions and stick to the present. Ask questions, listen, and paraphrase back what your friend has shared. These are basic counseling techniques. The premise is that allowing the person to work through the issues is more important than what we can do to directly help.
  

• Don't forget about the good old greeting card or short note that lets your loved know how much you care. Let the card say it if you wish to avoid writing and then add an address, a stamp, and send your support on its way.
  

• This makes eight -- so much for sticking to my Sunday plan -- but I must share this too: Don't forget about your loved one after months and even years pass by. Initial diagnoses are tough and treatments are tough too. But as your friend survives each day, remember to check in. Cancer is a life-long battle for many. Support and assistance may be just as valuable a year down the road as it is on day one.

Flowers can lift spirits, brighten days, and heal hurting souls. They can actually make us healthier too. And while there is not a lot of science backing this fact just yet, it's long been understood that flowers really do help us Get Well Soon.

In ancient Egypt, physicians ordered walks in gardens for patients with psychological problems. Currently, horticultural therapy is a well-established method of rehabilitation for patients with physical and mental difficulties. Medical institutions all over have created flowering spaces intended as therapeutic gardens. One study determined that 100 percent of women presented with a flower bouquet reacted with a genuine smile that involves the eyes and the mouth and indicates changes in the brain. There was no such common happiness reaction among women presented with other gifts. Further studies found that men also reacted positively to flowers. A study of cardiac patients found flower therapy improved mood and lowered heart rates, possibly reducing stress that contributes to heart disease. It seems some patients seem to forget about their pain when strolling through gardens. They forget about their pain medication too. One flower expert's research brightened her own world at a time when chemotherapy and surgery for breast cancer had her feeling pretty low. Studying flowers gave her a whole new, brighter look at the world.

Flower therapy includes almost any contact with plants. Color, texture, and scent all play a part in the relaxation and healing that results from a little flower time. Why it works is a mystery -- it could be that we associate flowers with pleasure, that flowers fulfill emotional needs, that they are the pets of the horticultural world. We breed them for traits that please us and then capitalize on how they lighten the load and enhance our moods.

The bottom line is this -- we just don't know exactly why or exactly how flowers do what they do. We just know intuitively that they work, that they spread hope and renewal and peace like nothing else.

For more information on the healing power of flowers, pick up a copy of the November 2006 issue of The Oprah Magazine.

Sometimes all it takes is a small gesture to warm the heart of a cancer patient. It doesn't take anything huge. It shouldn't cause any stress or discomfort. And it shouldn't require a whole lot of thought. It should be simple. Simply simple.

A whole lot of small gestures spread a whole lot of cheer my way when I was knee-deep in cancer treatment and needed a lift. Cozy socks kept my feet and my spirits toasty. A package of brownies sweetened my sour days. Flowers brightened my dining room and my state of mind. Books left on my doorstep delivered knowledge and wisdom and a bit of humor to my world.

The options for spreading sunshine are endless. The list of possibilities could go on and on. Here is just a start -- a small list of small gestures that can make a dreary day downright delightful.

Give a hug
Send a handwritten letter
Make a homemade card
Write a poem
Give a journal
Deliver a candle
Make a home-cooked meal
Arrange for food delivery
Babysit children
Play with children
Drive to appointments
Go wig or hat shopping
Visit during chemotherapy sessions
Give something comfy -- socks, pajamas, hat
Do grocery shopping
Accompany to lunch, dinner, movie
Take a walk
Attend church
Have a picnic
Go fishing
Make a donation to favorite charity
Walk, run, volunteer, raise funds in honor of your special someone

Be specific in your gesturing. Trade a comment like "let me know if I can do anything" for "I'm going to come over and wash and clean your car on Saturday." Vague offers are rarely successful -- cancer patients are not likely to recall every general offer they receive and then manage them all into a schedule. It's just too much to consider in the midst of turmoil. But an offer that comes to life right before them is easy. It's effortless. It is truly a gift. A simple, priceless gift.

I have a Vera Bradley purse -- a backpack, actually -- that is black with pink ribbons and little multi-colored flowers sprinkled all over the fabric. The print is called New Hope and a portion of the proceeds from the purchase of this bag go toward breast cancer research. Now there is a second print available that also carries hope for a cure. Hope Toile is the name of this bright, cheery, perfect-for-summer, pink bag -- and like the purse I have, part of the sales will benefit the Vera Bradley Foundation for Breast Cancer. Since 1994, Vera Bradley has raised more than four million dollars for breast cancer research and this pattern -- which also shows up on accessories such as umbrellas, wallets, belts, eyeglass cases, and watches -- symbolizes renewed hope for a cure. And while I don't have this purse yet, it is on my wish list for a time when I need something new and fresh and hopeful.

Stress is not good. Long-term stress can suppress the immune system. Part of cancer prevention is supporting a healthy immune system so it can do the job of stopping cancer before it has a chance to develop into disease.

Whether stress is related to work or family life, most of us experience too much stress in our daily life. Why the same events will cause some people stress and not others, or why the same event can cause us to experience stress at one time but not seem to bother us as much at a different time, is largely based on our perception of the event and how we define what is happening.

One of the best ways to escape stress? Never personalize what is taking place. Easier said than done, but with practice, it works in reducing the amount of stress and the number of times you experience stress in a day. Still, easier said than done.

In a private preview of the 84th Chelsea Flower Show, attended by The Queen, the Prince of Wales, the Duchess of Cornwall and celebrities, Emma Thompson unveiled the pink rose that will become the signature plant for the Plant Pink campaign. The campaign will raise money in support of Breast Cancer Care. "It seems to me there are more and more women getting this disease. Of course, since they are the growers and nurturers, the effects of a woman having this disease go very, very far through the family. The reverberations through children's and parents lives are very great. I am promoting this for all the people who I know who have lost their women." UK gardeners are being asked to plant pink plants using pink products all available at Wyevale Garden Centres. 50p from the sale of all pink plants will go towards raising money for the breast cancer charity. Wyevale Garden Centres, the UK's largest garden centre group with 114 stores, has chosen Breast Cancer Care as its Charity of the Year for 2006.

For a gardener, this is an exciting time of year. There is planning and planting and anticipation of the continuous summertime harvest bounty of fresh organic vegetables straight from the good earth of a home garden. If you have children, or grandchildren, it is an excellent opportunity in education and the lessons of tending and growing and benefiting from homegrown food. The wisdom of the garden and the gardener is the knowledge of life and living.

The Edible Schoolyard has brought all of this and more into the schoolyard at Martin Luther King Junior Middle School, where public school students are provided with a one-acre organic garden and a kitchen classroom. An explanation of the program is posted on The Edible Schoolyard website, where students learn how to grow, harvest, and prepare nutritious seasonal produce. Experiences in the kitchen and garden foster a better understanding of how the natural world sustains, and promotes the environmental and social well being of the school community.

As far as I can tell, much of the program is published online as a resource for parents and teachers interested in launching a similar program in community-area schools. I think, while reviewing the  extensive resources, that a parent could take advantage of the information and create an individualized homeschool-based program for their child, or children, if the local school does not provide this, or a similar program -- and include cancer prevention nutrition information about the organic produce grown -- for a lifetime of good health.