While reading the spring issue of Cure Magazine I came across an article on a book called Help Me Live: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know.

I have not read the book but I think it would be a great resource for those who have a family or friend with cancer. There is a need for a guide --I think this book can fill that gap.

Why would a guide be needed? I have found throughout my cancer journey that fellow survivors have many stories of unthoughtful, tasteless, ridiculous and sometimes funny comments from those around them. We can laugh at a lot of the comments because we know the person means well -- but sometimes it does go too far and can hurt.

What this book does is give the friend or family member some insight on what would be most helpful to the cancer patient. Based on the author's own experience with the disease and other survivors, each chapter tells intimate stories about one of the 20 most important messages people with cancer want to convey.

Help Me Live will help you find the word or gestures to show how much you care. There is never a 'right thing' to say or do but learning how to communicate effectively is very important.

This book can also be helpful to the cancer survivors themselves says Kathy Latour who wrote the article in Cure Magazine. She says "This book is not just for its intended audience of friends and caregivers, but for cancer patients too. In part, it affirms the cutting edge comments we made when Uncle Jack said something tasteless and painful. But in addition to reminding me of the many challenging people in my journey, the stories also revealed ways I could have handled them a little better"

WOW, what a book -- a perfect guide for those just embarking on a medical journey and a valuable resource for people like me -- already surviving a major illness -- who wish to better manage their health care for all of time.

Author Laura Nathanson, MD, wrote What You Don't Know Can Kill You: A Physician's Radical Guide to Conquering the Obstacles to Excellent Medical Care in honor of the husband she lost after a series of misdiagnoses and for everyone wishing to prevent such tragedy in their own lives.

Nathanson offers readers techniques for identifying signs of misdiagnosis and misleading analysis of symptoms. She shares tips for preventing medical miscommunication, keeping safe in the hospital, and choosing health care plans without falling into the uncovered services trap.

The allure of this book is the easy, non-medical approach Nathanson uses as she urges everyone facing the medical world to take charge of an often inpenetrable system. For the patient who is no stranger to this world, Nathanson's words will ring abundantly true.

"When I look back on that long period of delayed diagnosis and how we were then and later bounced around from one medical specialist to another, the image that pops into my head is that of a slightly mad, grotesque volleyball game -- with the patient as the ball," she writes.

For the patient new to medical confusion, Nathanson's words will impart volumes of truth.

"Here's what I've learned, and what you must learn if you wish yourself and your loved ones to survive a bout with serious illness," she reports. "No matter who you are, physician or not, lucky or not; no matter how rich, famous, successful, good-looking, innocent, kindly or powerful; no matter how close and trusting the relationship you have with those providing your medical care -- you cannot rely on today's medical system to keep you healthy, safe and alive."

Amen.

Puja Thomson, counselor, healing facilitator, educator, and minister, has a newly-released book -- After Shock: From Cancer Diagnosis to Healing: A step-by-step guide to help you navigate your way -- that is just perfect for just about anyone dealing with cancer.

Thomson, surviving her own bout with cancer, offers practical suggestions to help others clarify their cancer journeys in this book that features topics such as reaching out for help, designing your own personal wellness program, crafting challenges into hopeful perspectives, and organizing financial records and medical paperwork in simple ways.

Thomson shares her own firsthand stories and borrows reflections from other fellow cancer travelers. She offers a well-balanced sampling of ideas from which readers can pick and choose as they create their navigation plans. She does it all because she knows cancer can come as a shock. She also knows life goes on after the shock.

I took my boys yesterday for a tour of the University of Florida's Department of Entomology and Nematology. Translation for these little boys -- ages five and three -- involves one simple word. Bugs. They love bugs, hunt for bugs, capture bugs, and reluctantly set them free because I coax them into allowing these itty bitty creatures to continue living with their "mommies and daddies." I have a soft spot for all living beings -- bugs included.

We learned some crazy facts about bugs yesterday -- insects is the proper term really. We learned there is one cockroach that can live for seven days without its head. We learned there are two types of Madagascar cockroaches living in a lab in the very same building we visited that if set free, would reproduce so quickly they would become a major pest problem in the state of Florida. And we learned that of all animals on this planet, most are insects. But not only did we learn some crazy facts, we -- well, Joey -- shared a crazy fact too.

Joey is five years old. He is the boy who remembers much of my breast cancer journey. He is the one who helped shave my head, the one who thought a banana would make my sick tummy feel better. He's the one who would blurt out to people we never knew very well, "My mommy is bald," the one who asked me just last night if the metal thing -- my port -- was still in my chest. When I told him it's gone, he jumped up and announced, "Yeah, it's gone!" Cancer is one of many vocabulary words housed in Joey's brain. And sometimes the word comes up unexpectedly, in strange contexts, in surprising ways. Like today.

Our bug tour guide told us that in Africa, mosquitoes transmit diseases that kill millions of people. But those with sickle cell anemia are immune to the deadly diseases due to their compromised red blood cells that somehow fend off disease. This fact prompted Joey to share with the guide, "Did you know when people have cancer, there are bugs that can kill the cancer?" Our guide listened to this crazy fact and said in a kid-friendly way, "No, I did not know that. Who told you that?" Joey told her, "I don't remember but someone told me."

I am not sure what prompted Joey to make this announcement. Perhaps he was trying to one-up the tour guide, to sound like an expert on one of his favorite subjects. Perhaps his imagination was in overdrive and he blurted out the best story he could offer. Perhaps he jumbled up a story he had heard on the topic of cancer. And perhaps he is just simply hopeful that one day, bugs will help cure cancer. And wouldn't that be nice -- a simple mosquito comes along, pierces the skin, and poof, cancer is gone.

My cancer journey would not be nearly as interesting, as enlightening, as tender if Joey was not along with me for the ride. He keeps me busy and keeps my spirits up. He keeps me grounded and keeps life simple. Best of all -- he keeps me laughing.

The Men Against Breast Cancer organization wants to help men get involved in helping the women they love battle breast cancer. Their symbol, a pink and blue ribbon signifies the war against breast cancer is one that men and women must face together.

Marc Heyison and Steve Peck are the founders of Men Against Breast Cancer (MABC). Marc's mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1992. He understands how a breast cancer diagnoses impacts not only the patient but the entire family.

The website states that this is the first non-profit organization to provide targeted support services to educate and empower men to be effective caregivers when breast cancer strikes a female loved one; as well as, target and mobilize men to be active participants in the fight against breast cancer.

You can find many resources on the website such as the Partners in Survival workshop that brings practical advice and tips to help the whole family. Special emphasis is placed on men understanding the physical and emotional needs of their female partners.

The website will also have available in January of 2007 a book called For the Women We Love: A Breast Cancer Battle Plan and Caregivers Action Guide for Men.

There's a bit of breast cancer news in just about every magazine out there -- news about treatments and protocols and studies, news about celebrity diagnoses, news about lives lost to breast cancer and lives conquering breast cancer, news that is scattered here and there and everywhere. But now, there is a magazine all about breast cancer -- and just about breast cancer. All sorts of breast cancer wisdom is conveniently packaged into one slick, glossy publication that debuted on newsstands yesterday, September 19.

Beyond: Live & Thrive After Breast Cancer is a semi-annual publication from Meredith Special Interest Media, part of the Meredith Corporation -- a leading media and marketing company and home to magazines such as Better Homes and Gardens, Ladies' Home Journal, Parents, and Fitness. Meredith's new breast cancer venture provides women living with the disease -- and those who may one day encounter it -- with support and with the latest information on treatment and recovery.

The Fall/Winter 2006 premiere issue of Beyond features a cover story about Dallas Mayor Laura Miller, a survivor forging ahead into a life beyond breast cancer. Also filling the pages are inspiring real-life profiles and stories, nutritional advice, up-do-date medical information, fashion tips, the Pink Pages -- a resource guide that details upcoming races and products that support breast cancer -- and much more.

Behind the scenes of this issue is an advisory board of leading experts in the breast cancer field. Experts include Susan Brown, the health manager at Susan G. Komen Foundation; Carolyn M. Kaelin, director of Comprehensive Breast Health Center and breast cancer survivor; and Lillie Shockney, Administrative Director at Johns Hopkins Breast Cancer.

If there is one theme common to women surviving breast cancer, it must be the desire to live beyond the control of this life-threatening and life-changing illness, to recapture an existence that resembles something normal, to embark on a journey outside the confines of cancer. Tips, techniques, strategies, and inspiration for accomplishing these feats are printed on the pages of this new magazine that is sure to reach its intended audience -- that today includes two million women who are living with breast cancer.

I found a book called Cancer Etiquette. The book was written by a woman who is a survivor of multiple myeloma and breast cancer. In this manners guide to cancer you can find advice on what to say to a cancer patient and what not to say. For example, only say "you look terrific" if the person really does look terrific.

The author Rosanne Kalick also tells us that we should be more specific when offering help to a cancer patient. Don't just say that you're there for them. Offer to do something tangible like cook a meal or baby-sit the kids. Rosanne talks about the distressing comments sometimes said to cancer patients and offers helpful advice on what should be said instead.

This book would be very helpful to caregivers, friends or family members of loved ones dealing with a life threatening illness.

I wrote another post a few days ago called Things not to say to a cancer patient. Well, here are some great things that were said to me when I was going through my cancer journey. These things helped tremendously!

• I will drive you to your chemo treatment.
• Here is some dinner I made for you and your husband.
• I would love to go wig shopping with you.
• Call me any time and I'll be here to talk.
• You still look beautiful to me bald.
• Here are some xanax!
• Can I give you a foot rub?
• Sure, I can take your nipple off and move it to where it belongs (plastic surgeon).
• I'll drive 2 hours to your house and go with you and stay while you get your breast biopsy and wait for the results.
• Hang in there.
• I love you.

Our days start early now that Joey is in kindergarten and school begins promptly at 7:45 AM. His daddy gets him out of bed at 6:30 AM so he can have some time to wake to the world before shuffling out the door, and we've happily found that Mister Rogers' Neighborhood comes on at just this time. The same Mister Rogers that first appeared on television in Canada in 1963 and then in the United States in 1967 -- with a gentle man, Mister Rogers himself, spreading his calm but uplifting messages to children and nurturing personalities of kids everywhere.

The last original episode of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood was aired in 2001. And in 2003, Fred McFeeley Rogers died at the age of 74 after a brief bout with stomach cancer. But his legacy lives on as his show -- the longest-running PBS program ever -- still graces the television screen. I remember watching this show with my grandmother when I was a little girl. And now I get to watch it with my little boy -- who can also visit Mister Rogers on the PBS website.

Today, Joey and I started our day with a cheery little song, sung by the man who hated television and joined it only to bring about change -- to use this fabulous instrument to guide children in a positive direction. And here is what he sang this morning -- the song that is still playing in my head as I take on the day ahead of me.

It's such a good feeling to know you're alive.
It's such a happy feeling: You're growing inside.
And when you wake up ready to say,
"I think I'll make a snappy new day."
It's such a good feeling, a very good feeling,
The feeling you know that we're friends.

I hope it's a good day in your neighborhood.

There has been a great increase during the past 10 years in the number of women receiving mammograms in Florida. But shockingly, almost one million Florida women over the age of 40 have still not ever received mammograms. So the American Cancer Society has teamed with the Medical Quality Assurance Inc. -- and they have co-published a guide to help these women locate a mammography center that meets their needs. This guide is sorted by city and is available on the American Cancer Society website for quick and easy access.

I can only imagine how the numbers stack up in consideration of all states -- and not just Florida. I can only imagine why these one million women in my state alone have not reported for this critical test --perhaps reasons stem from lack of awareness, lack of access, lack of financial resources, lack of concern. I can only imagine that not everyone -- due to life circumstances -- can be a recipient of this potentially life-saving test. Like I was -- at the age of 34 with a small but aggressive cancerous tumor living in my left breast. My referral for a mammogram saved my life. And I can only imagine how many more women might be saved from the horror of breast cancer because a mammogram assisted in early detection. I can only imagine that the day will somehow arrive when all women -- of all ages -- are afforded the opportunity for this test. And that those who have the opportunity -- and the means -- decide to delay no further.

According to the National Consumers League, don't become a breast cancer statistic. Breast cancer is highly detectable through mammography screening. The earlier it is discovered, the greater a woman's chance for survival. Breast cancer is the second most common cancer in women and the leading cause of cancer-related deaths in women between the age of 40 to 55.

Because of this reality, a brochure -- Mammograms: Consumer Guide to Breast Cancer Detection -- is made available online as a PDF document. The brochure covers breast cancer facts; screening methods, frequently asked questions; reducing your breast cancer risks, and tips to take before mammography screening.

The National Consumers League, founded in 1899, works to identify, protect, represent, and advance the economic and social interests of consumers and workers.

Thanks to a tip from a reader, I have just ordered my free Pink Ribbon 25-cent coin from The Breast Site. The Royal Canadian Mint, in partnership with the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, has produced the 2006 Pink Ribbon Coin as a symbol of hope for a future when breast cancer does not take the lives of our loved ones. Thirty million coins have been produced and are only available in Canada, at participating Shopper's Drug Mart stores and through the Royal Canadian Mint -- and now through The Breast Site too. One free coin, the first of it's kind and available since April 2006, is offered to each reader who requests one.

The Breast Site serves as a guide for breast health products, services, and information. Featured on this site are facts and tips and news about breast cancer, breast surgery, breastfeeding, bras, and breast-themed books. What a valuable website with a valuable offer for a valuable coin.

Thanks to Anna for the tip!

Hearing the words "You have cancer" is a traumatic experience for most adults. Having to tell your loved ones and friends that you have cancer is just as hard. Being a parent and having to tell your young child that you have cancer is one of the toughest conversations many adults face. The American Cancer Society reports that one in seven women in the U.S. will develop breast cancer during their lifetime, and roughly a quarter of them will do so while they still have children living at home. That is just one statistic of one form of cancer and there are more to consider. 

So what do you tell your young child and how much detail should you get into? Most children have seen commercials, heard conversations, experienced some form of educational material on the subject already. Should you tell the truth, hide some facts, or try to avoid letting them know all together?

Wendy Schlessel Harpham, MD wrote a book called When a Parent Has Cancer: A Guide to Caring for Your Children. In this book she states that one of the biggest mistake parents make is trying to hide the truth from their children. "Even small children will figure out that something is wrong, even if you don't tell them," she says. "Kids are observant and smart, and if you give them too little information they will try to figure it out on their own. If you don't tell them, you lose control and you are less able to guide the child through the changes in their world in healthy and hopeful ways."

Telling the truth, giving them understanding and the support they need, and educating them about your cancer may be the toughest conversations you will ever have in your life, but it will help you and your child in gaining the confidence to cope with the challenges that you both will face.