Nicole was a fellow member of an online group called Sisters In Survivorship. It is a Yahoo support group for women under 40 that have been diagnosed with breast cancer. I remember speaking to Nik on the phone a few times a few years ago when she needed some support and encouragement. I knew she wasn't doing that well lately and I found out today that she has passed away.

Her obituary reads as follows:

Nicole Norman Wetzel passed away on Wednesday, June 20, 2007 at her home in Mandeville, LA.

Beloved wife of Jason Steven Wetzel and devoted mother of Dominique Claire Wetzel, she is survived by her parents, Dale David and Elmire Begovich Norman; one brother, Kevin David Norman and many nieces, nephews and cousins. She was preceded in death by her grandparents: Dominick and Josephine Begovich, Dennis and Rose Norman.

Age 35 years, a native of Marrero, LA and a resident of Mandeville, LA for 14 years. Nicole was a 1990 graduate of Immaculata High School, she received a degree in Business from UNO before moving to Mandeville where she worked as a Notary and Paralegal.

The breast cancer chemotherapy drug Adriamycin is often called The Red Devil. It's red in color and devilish in it's attack on both cancer cells and healthy cells. After her own personal attack by this drug, Katherine Russell Rich wrote a book, and she called it The Red Devil: To Hell with Cancer -- and Back. It's her account of how she got sick at the age of 32 with a relentless form of breast cancer. Although she was given just a short period of time to survive, Rich conquered cancer. And years later, she is alive and well. And she has discovered -- by mere coincidence -- that her book years ago inspired a group of women in Baltimore who are helping breast cancer patients through kind deeds. They foot the bill for transportation costs, housecleaning, and massage. They pick up and deliver medications. They gather and hug and eat. They take strolls. They call themselves The Red Devils.

Rich only found out about The Red Devils support group when a friend noticed a mention of the group in a newspaper. She informed Rich who visited the group's website. What she found took her breath away.

It seems a woman named Lark Schulze had at one time been desperate to learn about young women with stage IV breast cancer -- the same stage her 30-year-old daughter faced -- and she could not find any helpful resources. Until she came across Rich's book and poured herself into one woman's story. Moved by Rich's words, she tried to locate her, with no luck. So she took what she gathered from the book and after losing her daughter 19 months after diagnosis, became a founding member of a powerful support group -- The Red Devils -- in late 2002.

Despite failed attempts at finding Rich, Schulze says Rich changed her life. And now that the women have connected, Rich says Schulze has changed her life. At first Rich was afraid to be drawn into Schulze's world. But with a hunger to understand breast cancer from a mother's perspective, Rich took the plunge. She talked to Schulze, visited her, strolled with her, and soon the hard lump she'd carried in her stomach for so long began to soften as she connected in a deep and bizarre way with a woman she had inspired -- a woman she had never before known.

Caregivers are quiet heroes, helping and caring without asking for anything in return. Caregivers step in when there is a need and they bring with them a sense of hope and comfort during the challenges facing a loved one diagnosed with cancer. In the selflessness of love, they sometimes forget to take time to care for themselves. To avoid caregiver depression, frustration, resentment, illness and burnout, here are six ways a cancer caregiver can care for themselves while caring for someone else:

Take a daily walk. Exercise is a great stress reducer. Taking the time to stroll through the neighborhood or local park is like a deep calming breath for the body and emotions. If you are a jogger, go jogging. The point is to get away for a moment, get the body moving, and enjoy a change of scenery as you go.

Keep a journal. Daily journaling is a way to outwardly express your thoughts and emotions and can act as a relief value for emotions that are building up inside. It can also give you a better perspective. Sometimes we need to see what we are thinking and feeling to sort it all out.

Pursue personal interests. If you have a hobby or activity -- like writing poetry, photography, crafts, painting, knitting, reading, gardening, or listening to music, that has always been fun and brought you a sense of joy and contentment -- make time each day for your personal pleasurable pursuits.

Maintain friendships. We need our connection to others for the enjoyment of company and for comfort and support. Make regular weekly dates with friends and meet for coffee. Join a book club or start a book club. If there is a caregiver support group in your area, or a support group for families affected by cancer, consider joining.

Learn ways to relax. Try breathing exercises and muscle relaxation exercises. Schedule a massage. Take a weekly yoga or tai chi class. Cannot get away? Pop in a yoga or tai chi video and follow along.

Make your health a priority. Eat well-balanced meals, get plenty of rest, drink plenty of fluids. Find inspirational quotes that lift your spirits and display them where you can read them each day. Remember to laugh each day. Hug and be hugged.

To offer the very best care for your loved one, you must take care of yourself too. It's not selfish, it's wise.

If you are a caregiver that has found unique fun ways to take a moment to take care of yourself while taking care of someone you love, please share your ideas with other caregivers in the comment area following this post. If you are a reader with fun tips or ideas on ways a caregiver can take care of themselves while caring for someone else, please share in the comment area. We are all in this together, and we will get through the challenges and struggles of cancer much better with each other's support and encouragement.

The Family Caregiver Alliance has written an excellent article in acknowledging that becoming stressed, irritated and frustrated are normal valid emotional responses that occasionally occur when being a caregiver. While the article speaks to a caregiver of someone suffering from Alzheimer's disease, I feel the information they offer applies to all caregivers.

All caregivers are going to feel irritation and frustration at some point -- perhaps not towards the person they are caring for so much as the circumstances and the cancer that led to the need for caregiving. Controlling Frustration is packed with great information, advice and tips.

In combating frustration, the Family Caregiver Alliance offers the following suggestions: learn to recognize the warnings signs of frustration; intervene to calm yourself down physically; modify your thoughts in a way that minimizes stress and learn to ask for help.

The warning signs of frustration might be: shortness of breath; knot in the throat; stomach cramps; chest pains; headache; compulsive eating; excessive alcohol consumption; increased smoking and suddenly feeling a lack of patience.

For ways to prevent frustration from building, they recommend caregivers do three things: make time for yourself; take care of yourself and seek outside support -- because not doing these three things puts the caregiver at greater risk for anxiety, depression, frustration and physical distress that may eventually keep a caregiver from being the caregiver they want to be for their loved one battling cancer.

The article Controlling Frustration is published online in the Strength for Caring Caregiver's Manual.

The Center for Caregiver Training is developing web based education courses for AIDS/HIV and cancer caregivers that offer practical skills to manage and cope with the responsibilities of being a caregiver. Caregiving 101 has three completed modules of lessons -- Learning About the Disease; Working with Your Medical Team; and Building a Personal Support Team.

To make the most of the time spent visiting with the doctor, one of the lessons in the Working with Your Medical Team module is How to Be Prepared for a Ten Minute Doctor's Visit.

Here are some of the tips included in the lesson:

• Always maintain an up-to-date medication list that includes all prescription and non-prescription items taken.
• Keep a journal of information that the doctor feels is important. This might be weight, temperature, blood pressure, blood sugar levels, and level of pain.
• Between visits, make a note of any unusual symptoms experienced in the journal. This might be night sweats, nausea, lack of appetite, insomnia, fatigue, confusion or anxiety.
• In the journal, jot down questions you might have for the doctor as you think of them.
• Bring the journal with you when you take your loved one to visit the doctor.
  

Other modules in development are Finding Help in the Community, Tools for Life as a Caregiver, Daily Care at Home, Managing Medications, Maintaining Nutrition, Managing Symptoms & Side Effects, Managing Pain and Coping With Mental Changes.

The Weblogs, Inc. network features over 100 independent, unfiltered bloggers producing over 1,000 blog posts a week across over 75 industry-leading blogs. Each week we ask our bloggers to choose their top posts, which we bring to you in one easy-to-read weekly post. You’ll find links to the hottest posts from the past week after the jump including a Macromedia MAX ticket for next to nothing, the Charles Bronson farm and the Nintendo Revolution controller. Plus, when your done with the full listing after the jump check out the Open Source Weblog for a special live blogging event today (September 17) only.

The Weblogs, Inc. network features over 100 independent, unfiltered bloggers producing over 1,000 blog posts a week across over 75 industry-leading blogs. Each week we ask our bloggers to choose their top posts, which we bring to you in one easy-to-read weekly post. You’ll find links to the hottest posts from the past week after the jump including a special review contest, celebrity virginity, and even the best Windows emulator for Mac. Enjoy!