Am I a different person before and after cancer? Yes, most definitely. But what about the little things that come into our lives everyday? Did I chill out at all? I would have to say yes to that as well - ah, sometimes.

Do I need to clean the kitchen or should I go to the beach? I always like to have an immaculate kitchen so this is a tough one for me! I could call myself a neat freak except that I have messy drawers but everything on the surface has to look perfect.

So, my advice is -- Go to the beach!

I do have an easier time post breast cancer, saying to myself - ah, do it tomorrow, whats the big deal, its such a nice day.

Cancer has taught me that its ok to be messy sometimes, who cares! That is one of the many changes I have seen in my life.

I ask myself -- Am I smelling the roses? --as the old saying goes. I think I am. I really am.

I tend to think of cancer as a gift. I think it helps me prioritize life's details. I believe it has taught me to stress less. I know it's made me more sensitive to others sharing this planet with me. Yes, cancer has made me a better person. And I consider that a gift.

This is not how writer Lauren Terrazzano describes her dance with cancer.

"The truth is, having cancer just pisses me off," says Terrazzano.

"I wish I could be one of those people who has had the epiphany, who believes the disease has given me valuable insight into life. OK, I occasionally feel that way, but it might just be the pain medication."

Neither of us is right. We just have different takes on living with a deadly disease. And our opposite viewpoints make for a rather enlightening study on how cancer affects us all so differently.

I regularly write about the blessings I've found in the midst of cancer. So for today's Thought for the Day, I present to you some thoughts from Terrazzano about how cancer is not always a gift.

Think about this:

On cancer making her a better person

I don't really remember what kind of person I was before cancer. While I may not be better, I am definitely blunter.

I often say whatever I want to whomever I want, whenever the moment strikes me. These flashes can be toxic to those around me. I once yelled at a homeless man who asked me for a dollar. I yell at my husband sometimes, arguing about stupid things like how to shove a brisket into the freezer, above the peas and spinach.

And I sometimes wish bad things on bad people. Mostly the high-octane evil people, like Osama bin Laden (Why can't he have to go through chemotherapy? Why can't he have a good dose of radiation?). Are these really the musings of a better person?

On living each day as if it's your last

Nope. Can't do it.

While sometimes I am the carpe diem sort of girl, I want to live each day like just another day. I want to watch When Harry Met Sally for the 17th time or surf the Internet for new pictures of Britney Spears' bald head. Then I want to cap it off by several hours of reading. Forget Tolstoy, though. I'd rather read People magazine. Why do I have to cram life into 20 seconds, while other people have the luxury of doing it over the span of 20 years?

On why she is not so brave

Firefighters and police officers who plunge head first into dangerous situations are brave. A child protective worker who gets paid next to nothing and tries to be a mother to as many as 50 dysfunctional families is brave. Those people chose their positions in life. Cancer chose me. It's not bravery that gets me up every morning to try to beat back the monster. It's a survival instinct that kicks in, pure Darwinism.

The fact is, most of the time I am scared to death. I wear Band-Aids far too long because I can't take the agony of pulling them off. I hate needles (though I don't know anyone who likes them). Why is it that people who hate getting blood drawn are the ones who usually end up with serious illnesses that require getting stuck often? It's a mystery of the universe, much like why tornadoes seem to seek out trailer parks to do their damage.

Vincent Rennich, veteran casino worker and non-smoker, is suing the Atlantic City Tropicana Casino and Resort because he claims a quarter-century of inhaling secondhand smoke gave him lung cancer. And if that's not enough to make this man upset, getting fired seals the deal.

"They threw me under the bus," Rennich said yesterday, the day after a supervisor told him he was terminated from his job. "How can you fire a guy with lung cancer who's suing you? Maybe they don't realize the ramifications. Or maybe they're heartless. Or maybe all of the above."

Tropicana officials say that Rennich was not singled out in any way, that he was just one of many let go due to a restructuring of the company. Since last January, more than 200 people have been laid off.

Rennich, 49 and a table games supervisor, has been a vocal advocate of a total smoking ban in Altantic City's 11 casinos. He has been speaking out on behalf of everyone working on the casino floors, and for himself personally.

Rennich had a third of his right lung removed in September 2005 and sees a doctor every three months to ensure his cancer does not reappear. Now that he's been fired, his health insurance will lapse in 30 days, leaving him with a monthly payment of $800 in medical bills.

Atlantic City was slated to ban all casino smoking this past January. But fierce opposition from the casino industry, predicting an estimated revenue loss of 20 percent and job losses of more than 3,400, led to a compromise. And now, effective April 15, smoking will be restricted to no more than 25 percent of the gambling floor.

Rennich is not happy about this -- or his cancer or his termination. And while he is not sure what his next step will be, he says he is definitely not backing down from his anti-smoking platform.

If the experimental breast cancer drug Tykerb continues to prove successful in study participants, it could be headed for FDA approval.

Tykerb, now in international study, showed in early studies to be even more effective and to have fewer side effects than similar breast cancer drug Herceptin. Both drugs are part of a cluster of targeted therapies that attack cancer cells while sparing healthy cells. Designed for use on women whose breast cancer is HER2 positive -- meaning it contains too much of an aggressive protein -- Tykerb may be a wonder drug, with the capability of effectively keeping breast cancer at bay.

Dr. Paul Goss of MA General Hospital says, "We're seeing Tykerb, which is a pill, which is easier to take, has a broader attack and gets inside cells. It's like an electrical circuit that's turned on, and Tykerb can pull the lever, the circuit breaker, and switch it off."

The world's largest drug maker -- Pfizer Inc. -- announced Monday it will cut 10,000 jobs and close at least five facilities due to fierce competition from generic drug makers. The goal, says Pfizer spokespeople, is to whittle away annual costs by $2 billion by the end of the year -- to combat the prediction that the company will lose 41 percent of its sales to generic drugs between 2010 and 2012.

Pfizer's other obstacles include expiring drug patents -- costing Pfizer about $14 billion in revenues between 2005 and 2007 -- as well as demands for lower prices by insurers and large purchasers, and repeated requests for evidence of products' worth.

The 10,000 layoffs amount to 10 percent of the company's global workforce and will take jobs from 2,200 United States employees. The company will cut 20 percent of its European sales force, will close three research sites in Michigan and two manufacturing plants in New York and Nebraska, and is considering selling a manufacturing site in Germany and closing two research sites in Japan and France. In the midst of all of this, the company will focus its efforts on transforming the way they do business.

"I believe we must transform the way we've done business in the past in order to be more successful in the future," said Jeffrey Kindler, CEO and chairman of Pfizer. " Incremental evolution is not enough. Fundamental change is imperative -- and it must happen now."

Pfizer's Monday announcement is the second declaration of budget cuts. A previous announcement has the company -- the maker of cancer drugs Aromasin, Ellence, Camptosar, and Sutent -- slashing costs by $4 billion a year until 2008.

Those of us diagnosed with cancer are not the only survivors of our diseases. Our families and friends and caregivers and even employers and co-workers survive right along with us. Sure, the facets of our survivorship vary tremendously -- but we all survive the wrath of cancer in our own unique ways.

My two little boys have spent the past two years surviving breast cancer -- my breast cancer. And while they still don't fully comprehend the magnitude of such a disease, they do understand cancer is a sickness. They understand it took my hair, made me feel sick, left me with scars, and they religiously comment on every pink ribbon they see. They call the ribbons cancer.

I am often asked how my children handled my diagnosis, my treatment, my emotions. They handled it all well, I think, and as time passes, they do better and better. In fact, cancer seems to have vanished into thin air for Joey, who will turn six on Wednesday, and Danny, who is three and a half years old. I know this because of their answers to a few questions I asked them last night, on the eve of 2007.

What was the best thing you did this year?

Joey: Swimming in the pool.
Danny: Being at school.

What was the worst thing that happened this year?

Joey: Getting that boo-boo on my foot, when it scraped on the driveway.
Danny: The cheetah that was chasing me.

What could you have done better this year?

Joey: Learning to ride my bike without training wheels.
Danny: Watching Ice Age.

What would you like to work on during this new year?

Joey: Building a better stick house.
Danny: Drinking milk.

What was the scariest thing that happened this year?

Joey: When I thought there were monsters in my room.
Danny: When there was a cheetah in my room.

What was the funniest thing that happened to you this year?

Joey: When Jack (uncle) and Bud (grandpa) tickled me.
Danny: When the cheetah was chasing me.

When I say the word Daddy, what do you think about?

Joey: Someone who makes me laugh.
Danny: no reply -- he was distracted by the movie Ice Age.

When I say the word Mommy, what do you think about?

Joey: I don't know.
Danny: no reply -- still distracted by the movie Ice Age.

What do you wish for 2007?

Joey: I wish I could fly.
Danny: I wish I could slide on a sleigh.

And that's a wrap. Not one mention of cancer. Not one response concerning endless medical appointments, my drastically different hair, or the port -- they called it a stone -- that was removed from my body in September.

There truly are more important things in life than cancer for two little boys whose memories of a horrible disease will hopefully fade with each passing year -- until not even a pink ribbon catches their attention.

Happy 2007, Joey and Danny. May all your wishes come true!

"This is shocking. Having cancer should not cost you your home," states Macmillan Cancer Support's General Manager for Wales, Cath Lindley. For six percent of cancer patients, loss of home follows a diagnosis of cancer. In number, six percent represents approximately 15,000 people. For those who are self-employed, 11 percent lose their home. Another 18 percent face devastating financial hardship and desperately struggle to make the rent or mortgage payment.

What's going on? Cancer treatment can be debilitating and require the patient to take time off from work. Some cancer patients lose their job. Factor in increased medical costs including prescription drugs, special diets and transportation costs and it becomes a recipe for financial disaster, and ultimately, homelessness.

UK's Macmillan Cancer Support has launched Hitting Home, and in partnership with Shelter, a national housing charity program, to offer help to cancer patients who are in a financial bind as a result of a cancer diagnosis and treatment.

The Hitting Home program offers these tips for cancer patients facing financial difficulties:

• Talk to your mortgage lender and explain -- you may be able to switch to an interest only mortgage, defer payments or take a mortgage break. Or talk to your landlord and explain your situation.
• Check your insurance policies. You may find your rent or mortgage is covered.
• You might be entitled to claim benefits such as disability living allowance, income support, or housing tax benefit.

The tips are useful for anyone, regardless of the country in which they live. However, if you live in the UK, visit Macmillan Cancer Support for contact numbers and direct assistance.

The lung cancer drug Gefitinib has been taken off shelves in the United States due to ineffectiveness. But it remains effective in some Taiwanese lung cancer patients, according to a study published in the journal Lung Cancer.

The study, conducted by the National Health Research Institutes, involved 65 non-small-cell lung cancer patients and found that more than 50 percent of participants responded to the drug therapy -- while only 10 percent respond in Western studies.

A genetic mutation of the epidermal growth factor receptor (EGFR) was found in most patients who responded to Gefitinib. The mutation is rare in Western countries but much more common in East Asian countries where the mutation increases the likelihood of developing adenocarcinoma.

About 6,800 Taiwanese patients develop non-small-cell lung cancer every year. Of these, 65 percent of cases are adenocarcinoma. Of this group, 57 percent will have the genetic mutation. And roughly half will respond to Gefitinib.

Glenn Close is the 2006 Entertainment Industry Foundation (EIF) ambassador to the Saks Fifth Avenue Key to the Cure campaign. Oscar de la Renta is the 2006 designer of the Key to the Cure t-shirt -- available now at Saks Fifth Avenue stores for the price of $35. For each t-shirt purchase, $31 will benefit EIF's Women's Cancer Research Fund. T-shirts are available on-line and in retails stores everywhere.

All Saks Fifth Avenue retail stores and Saks.com will contribute to Key to the Cure by donating 2 percent of all profits during October 12-15. Off Fifth stores will donate 1 percent of profits during the same time period to benefit local and national women's cancer charities.

Key to the Cure is a women's cancer initiative founded in partnership with EIF's Women's Cancer Research Fund. The program receives on-going support from Mercedes-Benz USA -- set to donate one million dollars to the cause. EIF is the entertainment industry's leading charitable organization and has shared hundreds of millions of dollars in support of critical issues facing our society. Like breast cancer.

All Macy's stores nationwide are having a Macy's Shop for a Cause day on September 16th, 2006. If you make a five dollar donation to breastcancer.org then you will receive a 20 percent off discount card for the entire day.

Breastcancer.org is a non profit organization and their mission is to help women and their loved ones make sense of the complex medical and personal information about breast cancer, so they can make the best decision for their lives. This year is breastcancer.org's fifth anniversary.

There are more fundraisers coming up in the month of September on the breastcancer.org website. There might be something in your area so check it out!

I have committed myself to only one breast cancer fitness event at the moment. I hope to one day branch out a bit and walk and run in different festivities, in different cities, for different purposes. But for now, Making Strides Against Breast Cancer -- sponsored by the American Cancer Society -- is my cause. Last year was my first time participating in Making Strides. I raised about $3,500 to help fund research, education, advocacy, and patient services -- and I walked the average five mile course that wound me through a quaint neighborhood in my city of Gainesville, Florida. This year, I plan to raise even more money and to run the same course. But not yet. The walk does not take place until October 14 -- which leaves me plenty of time to work on my fundraising goal and my running goal and plenty of time to help kick off this year's Making Strides.

I received my official Making Strides Kickoff invitation in the mail today -- an invitation to attend a dinner celebration where I can learn about the latest in breast cancer news from leaders in my medical community, listen to an inspirational personal story from a breast cancer survivor, and learn more about early breast cancer detection. So my calendar is marked for August 22 when I will attend this party-of-sorts that will jump start a major event in the major fight against breast cancer -- the disease that will one day touch the life of everyone is some way. Like it has already touched mine.

According to data available on cancer patients and caregivers, of all the patients diagnosed with cancer, at least 50 percent will be cared for by a family member. Cancer Caregivers Strength for Caring points to a survey from the Journal of Family Nursing that provides insight into the life and unmet needs of a cancer caregiver.

Some of the information from the study reveals that 82 percent of cancer caregivers are women; 71 percent are married; 54 percent live with the patient; 47 percent are more than 50 years old and 36 percent reported care giving took more than 40 hours of time per week.

Cancer caregivers make certain the person they are caring for has everything they need and often take care of the cancer patient's normal daily tasks, errands and chores that the loved one with cancer might not be able to do for themselves while undergoing cancer surgery and treatments. What the study found was cancer caregivers do not take time to take care of themselves and the toll it takes on the caregiver can be negative and profound.