I just read a breast cancer survivor's commentary about the color pink -- about how she hates pink, is sick of seeing pink, is tired of companies capitalizing on the breast cancer color in order to sell products. She calls the color wimpy and too feminine -- and while she accepts that she may just be grumpy about this topic, she is not too happy that pink is the color that symbolizes a serious disease. She would have preferred red or purple, colors that signify strength and power. But pink is what we've got -- and I happen to be okay with it.

I'm okay with pink because I like the color. I'm okay with it because it's recognizable -- and there can't be too many people out there who don't know that pink and breast cancer go hand in hand. To me, the color itself raises awareness. If I buy a pink vacuum cleaner and am reminded of the words breast and cancer each time I suck up dirt from my carpet, then I'm in the loop -- even if minimally. And if it prompts me to check my own breasts or schedule a screening appointment, then I benefit. I'm not sure a green vacuum cleaner would have the same effect. And when I wear my new Key to the Cure t-shirt -- with a pink ribbon gracing the front -- and someone inquires about the shirt, I will have an opportunity to spread some words about breast cancer. Pink doesn't have to be wimpy. It can be powerful.

There are surely companies out there taking advantage of the color pink because it sells. But if sales truly benefit breast cancer research, then it's a win-win situation in my opinion. I am happy that $31 of my $35 t-shirt goes directly to breast cancer initiatives. Sure, the shirt was a bit expensive. But so is breast cancer -- and I have the bills to prove it -- so if simply buying a pink ribbon t-shirt allows me to walk around as a billboard and allows breast cancer research some more momentum, then I am game.

I will wear my new shirt when I run in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer 5K event in two weeks. And I will wear a bright pink ribbon in my hair. And I may even wear pink shorts. Because I think pink is empowering. And I'm happy it's everywhere -- because it illustrates that breast cancer is everywhere. And that is not okay.

My mammogram and ultrasound today revealed nothing but normal, healthy tissue. The doctor said my pictures looked beautiful -- and she could find not one thing to worry about. She really looked for something -- because I was convinced there was something wrong when I found a lump-like bump in my left breast two weeks ago. So convinced that I was riddled with anxiety and panic and fear. But now I am happy and content once again -- and relieved that my fears were unfounded.

The explanation my doctor offered for the lumpiness I detected goes like this: my breast has been swollen and plump ever since my lumpectomy and radiation over the course of almost two years. Slowly, the swelling is disappearing and so all the tissue hidden under the plumpness is coming to the surface. It's always been there -- she could see it when she looked at my previous mammograms -- but I haven't noticed. Now, it's become more apparent as my breast returns to its normal size and shape. And so it seemed new to me. And suspicious. And wrong. But it's okay. It's normal. It's nothing to worry about.

And so I am not worried. I am settled and calm and thrilled to be surviving breast cancer, without fear that the disease is coming back. At least for today.

I am always a bit nervous before I head out for a check-up with my oncologists. I have two of them -- a medical oncologist who delivered my chemotherapy and a radiation oncologist who delivered my radiation therapy. Today I see my radiation oncologist and she will examine my breasts and manipulate my breasts and feel my underarms and check for lymphedema -- swelling in the arm due to removed lymph nodes -- and she will ultimately determine whether or not I have anything to worry about at this time. It's been just over one year since my last radiation treatment and six months since I saw this doctor for a follow-up.

So I am a little apprehensive about what I might hear -- because it's always possible that something does not feel right, that something is questionable, that something has returned. I am mostly confident that I am okay but there is still an unknown that lies ahead of me. An unknown that in a matter of a few hours will be known. And I will either learn that I am in fact okay. Or I will begin another spiral into the what-if-it's-cancer scenario. Only time will tell.

The tunnel was long. And dark. And winding. And foggy. And ominous. It seemed to last forever -- at the time -- and at moments, time seemed to stand still. I was not sure if I'd ever pass through it and be okay -- if I'd ever see the light at the end. But I did. I tunneled through it all -- somehow -- and I came out feeling more alive than ever before. Now, some time after my escape from the fog, I am already taking for granted the fact that I am breathing, that I am healthy, that I am living. And when my fitness trainer noticed yesterday that I do not get dizzy and lightheaded anymore during my workouts -- when I once had to sit down, breathe, collect my whereabouts -- I realized that some of my progress since exiting my breast cancer tunnel is already lost on me. And I don't want to lose sight of where I was and how far I've come. I want to remember it and measure it and never forget how alive I am at this very moment. So I have started to really think about how things have changed since I felt stuck in time, in a dark place. I am thinking about my times in a hospital bed when I was barely able to stand up, barely able to walk a few steps without feeling like I would collapse. Now I can hop out of bed at a moment's notice, half asleep in response to a demanding child screaming from his bed. I am thinking about my once challenging pre-cancer exercise routine and how a time came when my legs felt so heavy I could not even contemplate walking down my street. Yesterday, I completed an hour of weight training. Today I ran for 20 minutes. Tomorrow, I go back for more weight training. And I remember feeling incoherent, unable to conjure of meaningful thoughts or sentences. And now, despite some potential chemo brain forgetfulness, I am back on track.

I have only just touched the surface. There is so much more to reflect on. So I plan to think more about my travels so I can better appreciate how I arrived at the exact place where I am right now -- where it's light and clear, where time passes at normal speed, where I feel lucky to be alive.

I've been wearing a breast cancer bracelet that jingles with charms in the shapes of hearts, with inspiring little messages like Go with your heart. One of the heart charms is a watch. My friend sent me this shortly after my breast cancer diagnosis. I love this bracelet. So I was sad the other day when the glass piece covering the watch somehow cracked and shattered. I only realized this when I tried to check the time and learned that my watch was not actually telling time anymore. So I went for my back-up -- another watch, exactly the same and also given to me as a gift. I replaced my old watch with the new watch and then days later, my new watch was not working. I think water got inside the glass and damaged the battery or the mechanisms -- or something. I'm sure I could repair the watches -- and I considered this -- but then it entered my mind that maybe this is a message that I am okay now without all my breast cancer gear.