I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.

~Gilda Radner

I really enjoyed this quote from Gilda. I understand what she is saying deep within myself. I didn't live like that when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. I worried -- all the time. I don't much anymore. Of course there is always that little voice in the back of my head -- it can still come back -- don't get too cocky.

I realized that all that worrying was wasting a lot of my time. This realization didn't come in one certain moment but after a long year of mourning what had happened to me. I started to enjoy my days without worry. Maybe I just got used to the fact that I could recur -- instead of it being a nightmare that might happen it became a less scary idea. All I know is that I started to live in tune with Gilda's quote and am much happier because of it.

My nose was buried in books just after my breast cancer diagnosis. I craved information and thought the pursuit and acquisition of it would somehow help me gain control over a seemingly uncontrollable disease.

For the most part, reading helps me. But sometimes, I read too much -- "Stop reading", my oncologist instructed me one day after I rambled off a bunch of worries I'd gathered from research -- and I've been known to get overwhelmed by statistics and numbers and theories and clinical jargon. When this happens, I usually find refuge in the personal stories of women living with breast cancer. Those who have weathered the cancer storm are often the real experts on cancer and know how to sift through the details, offering just what's important to all who follow.

For more than a decade, two-time breast cancer survivor Pat McRee searched for the perfect guide she could recommend for women she saw at the Flying Colors cancer resource and support center she directs.

"Too long," "Too detailed," "Overwhelming," "Just plain scary," were the responses she heard about the books she had found.

So she decided to think outside the book, to create her own support guide. An unbook is what she calls it. And it's not too long, too detailed, too overwhelming, or too scary.

Support to Go, The Unbook for the Journey through Breast Cancer is instead a compilation of survivor secrets, affirmations, inspiring quotations, poetry, song lyrics, attitude buttons, funny anecdotes, and referrals to expert resources in oncology, radiology, surgery, psychology, and complementary therapies.

McRee considers her book a support group of sorts, a place where survivors can turn their wild rides into unforgettable journeys.

Although there are more cancer survivors alive today than ever before, being told you have cancer can still leave you standing in the darkest place of your life, as you face the challenge of fighting a disease that threatens to take your life sooner than you expected your life might end. Finding the thinnest sliver of light lingering at the outer edge of your new reality, and then pulling that light towards you so that it fills and replaces the darkness is an act of optimism creating hope in its purest form.

When 26-year-old graphic designer Chad McComsey was diagnosed with Hodgkins lymphoma, he decided to start a t-shirt design business as a way to stay focused on something positive and as a way to help with the financial costs of cancer treatment.

Starting a t-shirt business had been a dream of McComsey's for some time, and now it seemed the perfect time to make his dream a reality. As the practicality of his dream took form, he was reading Ernest Hemingway's biography. Hemingway's mantra was "Above all, endure." This became the slogans for McComsey's t-shirts.

You can find McComsey's t-shirts at MySpace and on the website Endure.

I had a free massage the other day, compliments of a local massage workshop called Caring for Clients with Cancer.

This hands-on gift came to me by way of a woman who was once a scientist and is now a massage therapist. Concerned that cancer patients are rarely encouraged to cash in on the benefits of touch therapy, this woman merged her two disciplines so she could help patients heal in a holistic manner. And so her workshop was born. And I was invited to take part.

I received one completely soothing and invigorating massage. I also received one completely inspiring packet of quotes -- that I've already read over and over again -- related to recovery and healing. Each quote is so perfect in its message, and I wish I could share them all today. But time and space are limited at the moment, and I can only share a few.

So here are seven of my favorite quotes, free for the taking, a gift from me to you. Take a moment to read them, share them, savor them, and quietly reflect on the power of these simple words.

People who have been through illness's dark passage can occasionally give us a glimpse, not only of what it is like to become whole, but of what it is to be more fully human.
--Marc Ian Barasch
The Healing Path

Those who have suffered understand suffering and therefore extend their hand.
--Patti Smith

What matters is this: you can look at a scar and see hurt or you can look at a scar and see healing. Try to understand.
--Sheri Reynolds

I have a duty to speak the truth as I see it and to share not just my triumphs, not just the things that felt good, but the pain, the intense, often unmitigating pain. It is important to share how I know survival is survival and not just a walk through the rain.
--Audre Lorde

Illness is the night-side of life, a more onerous citizenship. Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use only the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place.
--Susan Sontag, Illness as Metaphor

Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something.
--H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Patience is a hard discipline. It is not just waiting until something happens over which we have no control; the arrival of the bus, the end of the rain, the return of a friend, the resolution of a conflict. Patience is not waiting passively until someone else does something. Patience asks us to live the moment to the fullest, to be completely present to the moment, to taste the here and now, to be where we are. When we are impatient, we try to get away from where we are. We behave as if the real thing will happen tomorrow, later, and somewhere else. Let's be patient and trust that the treasure we look for is hidden in the ground on which we stand.
--Henry J.M. Nouwen

I found Sark long ago -- about 10 years ago when I was working with college students on a campus in Virginia. Part of my job was supervising Resident Assistants -- students who live and work on the residence hall floors and are responsible for building community among residents -- advising them and counseling them and mentoring them and stepping in when conflict and trouble arises. It's a tough job -- being a peer and being in charge at the same time -- and Resident Assistants receive intensive training on how to best manage a floor of students possibly living away from home for the first time. I got to train these student leaders at times -- and Sark's books helped me motivate, inspire, and get to know these individuals. And over the years, as I assumed other jobs and roles and purposes, I found that Sark was still a great companion for me. And now I realize that what Sark has to offer really applies to anyone looking for a little inspiration, a little direction, a little creativity, a little delight.

It is good to express a matter in two ways simultaneously so as to give it both a right foot and a left. Truth can stand on one leg, to be sure; but with two it can walk. -- Nietzsche

Integrated medicine combines mainstream western medical practices with complementary and alternative therapies -- two ways simultaneously -- giving medical treatments both a right foot and a left, in providing optimal outcomes. Seek a second opinion, and a third opinion, and a fourth opinion, if necessary, until you are comfortable that the chosen course of treatment feels right for you -- and is one you can believe in completely.

The life I touch for good will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt. -- Frederick Buechner

I cannot name them by name or hold the image of their faces in my mind, because I do not know their names and I have not seen their faces. I do carry each of them in my grateful heart for every morning that I wake again. The research renegades and rebels of convention, the pioneers of radical thought and original perspective exploring unmapped microscopic territories, and the altruistic money movers and policy makers. Most of all, I am indebted in ways I may never be able to repay, to the women who volunteered for clinical trials and experimental treatments that may or may not have helped them live longer, but led to the current treatments that help me to live longer.

The number of lives who have touched my life are counted the same as the number of stars in the clear night sky, and I, in turn, now do what I can to touch the lives of others, others that will never know me by name or hold the image of my face in their mind, as part of the continuum and connection of the healing and the healed.