I keep thinking about my ongoing negative relationship with the sun, how it burns me time and time again, how I keep trying to fine-tune my approach to dealing with this deadly force. Today, I have arrived at two new thoughts.

1. There was a time when I wanted a tan. I'd accept a burn even, in hopes it would turn to the slightest shade of brown on my pasty white skin. I would search high and low for the sun. I would drive in its direction, bask in its glory, give hours of my day to this crazy pursuit. Somehow, though, achieving a tan -- or burn -- wasn't easy. Sometimes, I'd see some color appear; sometimes my efforts seemed for nothing. It took work, effort, endless amounts of time and while my ventures in sunbathing did sometimes prove successful, there were many times I was left with, well, pasty white skin.

Fast forward to now. Not only do I seek shelter from the sun, but I use sunscreen, sit under umbrellas, and cover up whenever I can. Still, I get burned. It seems if I look in the direction of the sun, with my sunscreen-coated face, it will get burned. Long ago, my bare face only occasionally absorbed the sun. Why the change? Why when I worked not at all at protecting myself was it so hard to attract a golden glow? Why now do I protect myself in all ways possible and still sizzle? I'm wondering if it has anything to do with the chemotherapy drugs that poisoned my body for so long. A dermatologist once told me about a phenomenon called UV recall. The sun and the drugs can react, long after treatment has concluded, and can cause skin reactions. Maybe this is what's happening to me. Just in case, this gives me all the more reason to avoid all contact with the sun.

Sunscreen, designed to protect the user from sun skin damage might actually cause sun skin damage if applied incorrectly and infrequently. University of California Riverside chemists examined the effects of sunscreen lotion on the skin and found that after a period of time, the lotion or cream is absorbed into deeper layers of the skin. If more sunscreen is not applied to block ultraviolet radiation (UV), the sunscreen that has been absorbed into the deeper layers of skin creates additional oxidative damage as UV rays are able to penetrate through to the deeper layers where the sunscreen has been absorbed. When sunscreen is applied often, this does not happen.

There is only one practical solution at this time and that is to apply sunscreen lotion or cream often, about every two hours or after sweating or swimming. Researchers suggest another potential solution would be for sunscreen makers to mix sunscreen with antioxidants because antioxidants have been shown to reduce UV-induced damage to the skin. UC has published an in-depth explanation with photos of effects to the skin following the sunscreen experiments here.

I confess. I was once a sun worshiper. I grew up in Ohio where a really sunny day was rare -- so on the occasion when the sun was bright and hot, I was in my back yard or at a swimming pool or at a lake soaking up the warmth and comfort of the rays that mostly burned my skin but gave me a glow that eventually turned the slightest shade of tan and made me feel healthy. It's ironic really -- that I felt healthy when the act of sunbathing is so completely damaging. And I knew this at the time and for the many years that followed -- and I still basked in the sun and vacationed in Florida and sometimes actually drove in the direction of the sun on a overcast day, in search of a tan that was never fully achieved because my skin is pale and fair and was never meant for any amount of sun exposure.