John Ondrasik, the man and musician behind the band Five for Fighting, has released a new album and a new website that just happens to benefit the Breast Cancer 3-Day, a 3-day, 60-mile walk sponsored by Susan G. Komen For the Cure.

Think about this:

Ondrasik's new album, "Two Lights," features a song called "World" which is in heavy rotation on pop radio stations across the country. This single is the inspiration for Ondrasik's new website, What Kind of World Do You Want -- the first video community that gives back by allowing visitors a chance to make a difference.

This is how it works: reveal what kind of world you want and help raise money for charity by watching videos or creating and uploading a video of yourself, your friends, or your family. In your video, answer the question What Kind of World Do You Want? and then choose which charity you wish to help fund.

In addition to the Breast Cancer 3-Day, selected charities include the Fisher House, Save the Children, Autism Speaks, VH1 Save the Music Foundation, and NY Police and Fire Widows & Children. Video clips describing each charity, a message from Ondrasik, and a video of the song "World," are all featured on the site.

My friend -- who has a friend newly diagnosed with brain cancer -- greeted me at the door the other day and asked with a sense of urgency, "How can I help?"

"Help your friend?" I asked.

"Yes, she said, unsure of what she might say or do in this time of great difficulty for everyone involved.

I told her a few things. And then I thought of some more. It wasn't terribly easy to come up with these ideas. Because even though I myself was on the receiving end of help during my cancer journey, it's still hard to imagine what an individual wants or needs -- or doesn't want or need. But here's what I've got to offer.

I hope this helps my friend.

I hope it helps you too.

• Allow your loved one to take the lead. If you sense this person wants to talk, then talk. If you sense talk is not welcomed, then don't talk. To determine whether or not your friend or family member wants to discuss cancer, approach the topic and judge the response you get. I know I can usually tell if someone is willing to open up -- typically the conversation just flows -- and when someone is putting the brakes on chit-chat -- typically the conversation falls flat.

• If talk is not in the cards, then consider an offer of food. Sometimes actions speak much louder than words. So think about calling a restaurant in your friend's town and ordering a meal to be delivered right to the door. Most eating establishments accept credit card numbers over the phone so location should be a non-issue. Even those deep in despair need to eat, and taking away the chore of cooking and cleaning up can be quite a gift.

• If the gift of food is not up your alley, how about sending a small gift, like a candle, a pair of cozy socks, a grocery store gift card, a music CD, a gift certificate for a spa. You name it, your special something might brighten the day.

• If you live near your loved one and have some free time, offer to drive to appointments, visit during treatments, pick up kids and entertain them for the day, clean house, cook, and clean up dinner. Try to be very specific with your offers. Say, "I'd like to pick up your kids tomorrow at lunch so you can take a nap" or "I'm coming over on Sunday to rake leaves." These offers are easier to accept than the "call me if you need anything" kind.
  

• If a quick stop at your loved one's house is possible, drop off a book on the front porch or set some pretty potted flowers by the door. Or do both. Then walk away without saying a word. Let your help take your friend by surprise.

• When you do have the chance to talk, avoid guiding the conversation with your own thoughts and advice, unless requested. Saying, "Everything will be OK," for example, may not be true. Assuring your friend she will sail right through chemotherapy may backfire if nausea and fatigue are just down the road. Stating, "it's OK, your hair will grow back," doesn't really help those living with the horror of hair loss. So stay away from promises and predictions and stick to the present. Ask questions, listen, and paraphrase back what your friend has shared. These are basic counseling techniques. The premise is that allowing the person to work through the issues is more important than what we can do to directly help.
  

• Don't forget about the good old greeting card or short note that lets your loved know how much you care. Let the card say it if you wish to avoid writing and then add an address, a stamp, and send your support on its way.
  

• This makes eight -- so much for sticking to my Sunday plan -- but I must share this too: Don't forget about your loved one after months and even years pass by. Initial diagnoses are tough and treatments are tough too. But as your friend survives each day, remember to check in. Cancer is a life-long battle for many. Support and assistance may be just as valuable a year down the road as it is on day one.

The girls I know at the Young Survival Coalition website have discussions on many topics about the impact of cancer on our lives. Sometimes though someone comes up with an idea to lighten things up. Here are the most popular things we don't want to hear from our doctors...

1. When complaining to my plastic surgeon about the funky shape of my tissue expander, he said "Well, its sort of like a beach toy that is not fully inflated yet".
2. When asked to take part in a clinical trial suitable for stage II cancer I asked my oncologist "So that means I'm stage II then?". He said "Yeah at least!"
3. After taking samples of my tumor, my physician asked "Do you want to see them, they look like little tiny pieces of angel hair pasta?"
4. After discussing plastic surgery for breast cancer my plastic surgeon said "You know they are never going to look real".
5. When discussing with my oncologist about getting my port removed he said " Well, I guess we can put it back in if we need it".
6. Talking to my oncologist he says, "Well everything is fine, for now"
7. My primary oncologist asked me "So, who is your primary oncologist?"
8. My plastic surgeon remarks "I hate making nipples".
9. Arriving to get a mammogram a few years after a breast cancer diagnoses. "Why are you here?".